Observations One Makes At 4AM

I've been having an inordinate amount of trouble sleeping and it's beginning to drive me batshit crazy, or at least thats what it seems every time the numbers on my digital alarm clock roll past 4:00 am and I'm still in the fetal position, pillow over head, earbuds tucked in ears, trying to fall asleep to solo Neko Case.

Here's the kind of shit that pops into my never-calming mind.


1) The New Pornographers = The Justice League of America

In 1960, Brave and the Bold #28 introduced comicdom to the biggest and baddest superteam to ever grace the 4-color world. In 2000, indie rock was treated to much the same spectacle. It might be that it's been awhile since I revisited the New Porns discography, or it could just be that reading too much Chuck Klosterman drives nerds to see parallels where parallels do not in fact exist, but the evidence is there dammit!



AC Newman is Superman, with his herculean, pop-music writing skills and his understated frontman qualities. Neko Case is obviously Wonder Woman, if for no other reason than she'd look good in amazonian garb. Dan Bejar is the dark knight, always hiding in the shadows and rarely playing live shows with the band. I guess that makes John Collins the Martian Manhunter, which means Kurt Dahle is Aquaman?

Think about it. Their debut, Mass Romantic is very reminiscent of early Gardner Fox JLA stories, while their follow-up Electric Version has the sort of tongue-in-cheek excitability present in the Keith Giffen/J.M. DiMatteis run of the book. Twin Cinema is Grant Morrison's run, epic, grandiose, but no less action-packed. Challengers is Brad Meltzer's recent work on the book (totally making this last one up. I've listened to Challengers exactly 0.4 times.)

I need valium.

2) Peanut Butter Is Good With ANYTHING



Seriously, name a food that isn't a great partner for peanut butter. I dare you. I DOUBLE dare you.

3) Snoop Dogg Is Way Too Young To Call People Nephew



Every time Snoop does a song with Pharrell, he calls him "nephew." THEY'RE BOTH 35. WHAT THE FUCK?

This, of course, can only mean one thing. Snoop isn't really 35. Wikipedia doesn't know the truth. Snoop is a vampire.

4) I Don't Hate Coldplay (and am apparently gay)



I know it doesn't sound that fucking different than they're previous work, but Coldplay's new single "Violet Hill" has totally affixed itself to my brain. I've been humming the goddamn thing for days. Now, I may have to actually download it when it eventually leaks.

(Hey, I'm not saying internet piracy is okay, I'm just saying Chris Martin is already rich and fucking Gwenyth Paltrow. He'll survive without my 15 bucks.)

Also, killer album cover.

5) Robert Downey Jr. Is God



I don't have anything really witty to say about it, it's just fucking true.