So, I'm always ranting and raving about how fucking great Steven Moffat is and how he's a master level television writer equally at home penning brilliant, farcical comedy (like Coupling) and well, structured genre fare (like Doctor Who or Jekyll.) I've always wanted to have something that was a perfect blend of his uncanny skill for laughs and his love of science fiction tropes.
Lucky me, I just found The Curse of The Fatal Death, a Comic Relief special Moffat penned awhile back that pokes fun at Who conventions while still making one nostalgic for the show itself. Only Steven Moffat could get Jonathan Pryce to play The Master, and everyone from Rowan Atkinson to Hugh Grant and Joanna Lumley to take turns as The Doctor. It's fucking hilarious.
PART 1
PART 2
BONUS
A special short episode also written by Moffat for Children in Need.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
"Watch your back. Something's coming...behind your back..."
There is a misconception about Robert Deniro and Al Pacino. Because of the fact that they both make the same types of films, people tend to assume they have worked together on several occasions. This is not true. There are exactly two films that star both Deniro and Pacino. One being Heat where they share about ten minutes of screen time, the other being The Godfather Part II, where their respective characters exist in different timelines.
Now we can add Righteous Kill to the short list. Written by Inside Man scribe Russell Gerwitz and directed by sometimes-talented helmer Jon Avnet (Boomtown = cool, 88 Minutes = shit.) The movie is very much like the type of New York crime dramas Sidney Lumet and Harold Becker used to make in their sleep, so it's interesting to see what comes of the film.
Deniro and Pacino play two cops who have to stop a murderer from killing other criminals, but, of course, they don't want to because he's just killing bad guys. Here's the first teaser:
Okay, decent, right? Yeah, 50 Cent is in it, the titles and design are made to look like The Departed and they use the somewhat cloying Neptunes remix of "Sympathy For The Devil," but overall, intriguing, no?
Okay, here's the good trailer:
Added some more conflict, a broader idea of the premise, cut 50 and showed more Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg and reminded us that the ultra fuckable (and equally talented) Carla Gugino is getting a paycheck and BOOM, instant must-see.
Now, if you really want to appreciate this movie, you have to see this video and re-watch the trailers, trying to keep a straight face. It's a fun game, trust me.
"Moo." "The cow goes Moo. That's what he says."
Now we can add Righteous Kill to the short list. Written by Inside Man scribe Russell Gerwitz and directed by sometimes-talented helmer Jon Avnet (Boomtown = cool, 88 Minutes = shit.) The movie is very much like the type of New York crime dramas Sidney Lumet and Harold Becker used to make in their sleep, so it's interesting to see what comes of the film.
Deniro and Pacino play two cops who have to stop a murderer from killing other criminals, but, of course, they don't want to because he's just killing bad guys. Here's the first teaser:
Okay, decent, right? Yeah, 50 Cent is in it, the titles and design are made to look like The Departed and they use the somewhat cloying Neptunes remix of "Sympathy For The Devil," but overall, intriguing, no?
Okay, here's the good trailer:
Added some more conflict, a broader idea of the premise, cut 50 and showed more Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg and reminded us that the ultra fuckable (and equally talented) Carla Gugino is getting a paycheck and BOOM, instant must-see.
Now, if you really want to appreciate this movie, you have to see this video and re-watch the trailers, trying to keep a straight face. It's a fun game, trust me.
"Moo." "The cow goes Moo. That's what he says."
Friday, May 23, 2008
Hip-Hop On The Horizon
I've been in a sad indie/crazy dance music mood of late and I haven't been fucking with as much hip hop as I usually do. To make up for the absence, here's the lowdown on 4 upcoming projects I'm geeked for.
IDLE WARSHIP
Remember Res? She was a cool, talented, attractive, genre-bending musician before girls like M.I.A. and Santogold started lighting the blogosphere afire. Then she disappeared. Now, she's working on a comeback and has this cool side project going with perpetually underrated but always fantastic in collaboration MC Talib Kweli. It's a lot more fun than Kweli's usual fare, a mixture of dancey beats and twinges of the insight their old backpacker style is usually known for. They even team up with MC Chris for "Screamin" (if you haven't gotten a hold of MC Chris Is Dead then you clearly aren't trying hard enough and can no longer hang out with me. Yes, that is why I ignore you on facebook.)
Idle Warship - Pull It Out
Idle Warship - Fall Back
Idle Warship f. MC Chris - Screamin
COMMON
So, Common's got a new album coming out called Invincible Summer and the first leaked single features Pharrell doing his usual scat/singing and a fun Neptunes beat. Apparently, since Kanye is so busy with the Glow In The Dark tour, the album will be free of West beats, which is both a blessing and a curse. The last time Common released an album where he collaborated with The Neptunes, it was Electric Circus, an genre-bending, mindfuck of an album he is STILL apologizing for. I personally dug the album, but I wonder if he needs to take it back to outer space now that he's firmly ensconced himself into the mainstream.
Common f. Pharrell - Universal Mind Control
RAEKWON THE CHEF
I know alot of people thought that the big Wu comeback album 8 Diagrams wasn't fire enough, and I suppose they're right. After the hype, we all expected grimey, gutter beats that slapped us in the face like bloody sandpaper. Well, lucky us, RZA put away the "hip hop hippie" stylings Rae criticized him for and is coming back with that "tiger style" shit for us. This is probably because the emerging tracks from the eagerly anticipated Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II was started before 8 Diagrams. Either way, Tony Starks and Lex Diamonds are back with that street grit you love.
Raekwon f. Ghostface Killah - Necro
Raekwon f. Ghostface Killah - Jihad
THE COOL KIDS
Look, The Cool Kids fucking rock. You don't need my dilettante ass spewing some fake philosophical shit trying to over intellectualize the return of the boom bap. When their full length debut drops, I might even buy it. In a STORE! For now, cop your fixes.
The Cool Kids - Jingling
The Cool Kids - Stove Top Oven Fresh Baked Goods
IDLE WARSHIP
Remember Res? She was a cool, talented, attractive, genre-bending musician before girls like M.I.A. and Santogold started lighting the blogosphere afire. Then she disappeared. Now, she's working on a comeback and has this cool side project going with perpetually underrated but always fantastic in collaboration MC Talib Kweli. It's a lot more fun than Kweli's usual fare, a mixture of dancey beats and twinges of the insight their old backpacker style is usually known for. They even team up with MC Chris for "Screamin" (if you haven't gotten a hold of MC Chris Is Dead then you clearly aren't trying hard enough and can no longer hang out with me. Yes, that is why I ignore you on facebook.)
Idle Warship - Pull It Out
Idle Warship - Fall Back
Idle Warship f. MC Chris - Screamin
COMMON
So, Common's got a new album coming out called Invincible Summer and the first leaked single features Pharrell doing his usual scat/singing and a fun Neptunes beat. Apparently, since Kanye is so busy with the Glow In The Dark tour, the album will be free of West beats, which is both a blessing and a curse. The last time Common released an album where he collaborated with The Neptunes, it was Electric Circus, an genre-bending, mindfuck of an album he is STILL apologizing for. I personally dug the album, but I wonder if he needs to take it back to outer space now that he's firmly ensconced himself into the mainstream.
Common f. Pharrell - Universal Mind Control
RAEKWON THE CHEF
I know alot of people thought that the big Wu comeback album 8 Diagrams wasn't fire enough, and I suppose they're right. After the hype, we all expected grimey, gutter beats that slapped us in the face like bloody sandpaper. Well, lucky us, RZA put away the "hip hop hippie" stylings Rae criticized him for and is coming back with that "tiger style" shit for us. This is probably because the emerging tracks from the eagerly anticipated Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II was started before 8 Diagrams. Either way, Tony Starks and Lex Diamonds are back with that street grit you love.
Raekwon f. Ghostface Killah - Necro
Raekwon f. Ghostface Killah - Jihad
THE COOL KIDS
Look, The Cool Kids fucking rock. You don't need my dilettante ass spewing some fake philosophical shit trying to over intellectualize the return of the boom bap. When their full length debut drops, I might even buy it. In a STORE! For now, cop your fixes.
The Cool Kids - Jingling
The Cool Kids - Stove Top Oven Fresh Baked Goods
Porn Star Vs Indie Songstress: Oi! Oi! Oi!
So, anyone who knows me knows I love English chicks. Maybe it's something about shoddy dental work and an accent that does it for me. This week, we've got two blonde brits who I only chose because they sort of look alike.
ALICIA RHODES VS DUFFY
ALICIA RHODES
I rhink I first saw Ms. Rhodes in a film called "Black In The Saddle" where she did a boy-girl anal scene with Sean Michaels so intense it made MY asshole hurt. What was impressive is that she took it all in stride, claiming she'd been down with the brown eye since she was a "little girl," a quote I'd rather not read too much into.
She's got a lot going for her: natural DD tits, a nice ass, a strange resemblance to former Doctor Who companion Billie Piper. Alicia benefits from what alot of English people do when it comes to talent: she seems a lot smarter and engaging than she probably is. She made a scene in Big Sausage Pizza look actorly, for God's sake. The girl's got skills.
If you want to really understand the force that is Alicia Rhodes, I strongly suggest you do one of two things:
1) do a google image search on "alicia rhodes" and "interracial." You'll be treated to hundreds of candid shots where a nude Alicia is covered in more chocolate than an easter bunny.
2) seek out her girl-girl-boy three way with amazon Egypt and Lexington Steele. Adjectives guaranteed to fail.
DUFFY
I guess she's not that "indie." VH1 does that to street cred. However, she does have a nice voice (she's no Winehouse, but who is?) and she's cute. There isn't a great deal separating her from other newer English soul singers like Estelle, or Adele or even Joss Stone, other than the relentlessly catchy single "Mercy" which I loved even before she did the remix with The Game, but could not get rid of after said remix.
Also, she apparently knows We Are Scientists, which is cool.
Estelle had, in some bullshit interview, backhandedly criticized Duffy for not being a "real" soul artist, but coming from someone who had to fish across the pond and get Kanye and Sa-Ra to help her get radio-play, I don't think she's got oodles of room to talk. Further endearing me to her, Duffy took the swipe well and is as sweet as she looks (or at least has smart PR people.)
Her particular brand of music isn't really soul music anyway. It's dance music with a little more substance, something the world could always do with more of to begin with.
WINNER: It all boils down to whether you want to dance or jerk off.
Duffy f. The Game - Mercy (remix)
ALICIA RHODES VS DUFFY
ALICIA RHODES
I rhink I first saw Ms. Rhodes in a film called "Black In The Saddle" where she did a boy-girl anal scene with Sean Michaels so intense it made MY asshole hurt. What was impressive is that she took it all in stride, claiming she'd been down with the brown eye since she was a "little girl," a quote I'd rather not read too much into.
She's got a lot going for her: natural DD tits, a nice ass, a strange resemblance to former Doctor Who companion Billie Piper. Alicia benefits from what alot of English people do when it comes to talent: she seems a lot smarter and engaging than she probably is. She made a scene in Big Sausage Pizza look actorly, for God's sake. The girl's got skills.
If you want to really understand the force that is Alicia Rhodes, I strongly suggest you do one of two things:
1) do a google image search on "alicia rhodes" and "interracial." You'll be treated to hundreds of candid shots where a nude Alicia is covered in more chocolate than an easter bunny.
2) seek out her girl-girl-boy three way with amazon Egypt and Lexington Steele. Adjectives guaranteed to fail.
DUFFY
I guess she's not that "indie." VH1 does that to street cred. However, she does have a nice voice (she's no Winehouse, but who is?) and she's cute. There isn't a great deal separating her from other newer English soul singers like Estelle, or Adele or even Joss Stone, other than the relentlessly catchy single "Mercy" which I loved even before she did the remix with The Game, but could not get rid of after said remix.
Also, she apparently knows We Are Scientists, which is cool.
Estelle had, in some bullshit interview, backhandedly criticized Duffy for not being a "real" soul artist, but coming from someone who had to fish across the pond and get Kanye and Sa-Ra to help her get radio-play, I don't think she's got oodles of room to talk. Further endearing me to her, Duffy took the swipe well and is as sweet as she looks (or at least has smart PR people.)
Her particular brand of music isn't really soul music anyway. It's dance music with a little more substance, something the world could always do with more of to begin with.
WINNER: It all boils down to whether you want to dance or jerk off.
Duffy f. The Game - Mercy (remix)
What Hast Usher Wrought?
So I just started listening to Here I Stand, Usher's long-awaited new album. I clearly gave him a world of shit when "Love In This Club" leaked, mostly because I expected either a complete reinvention, or something so cloberringly awesome that Justin Timberlake would be crying in the fetal position. That single was neither and, unfortunately, the same must be said about the album.
Which isn't to say it's not good. It's actually very good. On par with, or a at least little bit better than Confessions.(I can't be sure, still need to digest some.) What I can say is that I'm going to stop making fun of him, at least for a little while, and let me tell you something, I had PAGES of material about the interlude where he includes a soundbite of his son crying, but, I'll be the bigger man and only discuss what I like, as the album technically isn't out yet and it'd be nice to generate a little buzz for the man.
Ursh is to be commended for shying away from his usual MJ impersonation and coming more into his own and, rather than pretending he can keep up with the Chris Browns of the world, embracing a more Marvin Gaye-ish maturity. Whether its the aforementioned fatherhood acknowledgment or the tones of the Ne-Yo penned "His Mistakes." It's not a giant leap forward, but it's less of a step back than I imagined.
The album isn't stacked with collaborations, a welcome change in hip hop today. Of the few collabs the only one I don't like is Jeezy's appearance of "Love In This Club" but it's totally redeemed by Weezy and Beyonce popping up on the penultimate track "Love In This Club pt. II" and Jay-Z assisting on "Best Thing."
It's hard to call what the hits might be. Its too early to tell if there's a "Yeah" or "Burn" in this bunch, but my early favorites are "What's Your Name" and "Moving Mountains" from will.i.am and Timbaland, respectively. It has that nice one-two punch of playful, synthy come-on and spare, contemplative lament. Vintage Ush.
This looks like it might be kind of a slow year in the R&B department, so who knows, Usher could be covered in little gold gramophones next February, to say nothing of the millions of potential units to be sold. For now all I can do is nod approvingly and maybe, just maybe, start a solemn slow clap. Well played, Mr. Raymond. We shall see.
Usher f. Jay-Z - Best Thing
Usher - Moving Mountains
Usher f. will.i.am - What's Your Name
BONUS
Omarion f. Usher & Fabolous - Icebox (remix)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Obsessed: Tracks On My Mind
Have you ever had a series of songs stuck in your brain that you barely even fucking liked, but for no real reason they become apart of your consciousness? Yeah, that sort of happened to me this week, and I'm trying to scrub it all out with really bouncy dance music, but it doesn't look to be working.
Here's some sad bastard music to suck on:
Death Cab For Cutie - No Sunlight
I don't have a strong, legit reason for liking this song that much, but I'm just happy it finally knocked "I Will Possess Your Heart" out of my head. That song was as scarily catchy as this one is smooth and digestible. It's Death Cab, not a lot new here, just your average, palatable piece of pop music, but I dig it.
Radiohead - All I Need
I like Radiohead, but I'm more of a The Bends/Pablo Honey kind of guy. All of this post OK Computer, electro-bleepy-bloopy Thom Yorke-The Eraser shit sounds like Philip K. Dick writing a porno about robots fucking. That's not necessarily a criticism, it's just what it feels like to me. This track on In Rainbows was recently used in an anti-child labor music video on MTV but it feels like a dreamy love song, the kind Wong Kar Wai would have in a film and play 12 times until we got the gist.
Amy Milan - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I blame Matt Breezy for this. If he hadn't started randomly singing "Crooked Teeth" to himself while playing with Rob's brother's guitar and decided to get a Death Cab song from fucking Plans stuck back in my head after all this time, I wouldn't have randomly decided to listen to Stars singer Amy Milan's cover and gotten THAT stuck in my head. Fucking Matt is a fucking Skrull.
Grizzly Bear - Owner of a Lonely Heart
Yes, I like Yes, okay? Yeah, Grizzly Bear covers are fun. Sure, it's sad as hell, but it's called OWNER OF A LONELY HEART. Fuck can you expect?
Scarlett Johansson - Anywhere I Lay My Head
So, I finally let her looks get the best of me and I broke down and downloaded Scarlett's album of Tom Waits covers. On paper, it sounds okay. Hot actress/Woody Allen muse + Dave Sitek producing + Cool Guest Spots = hyped album. The sad part is Scarlett Jo can't sing worth a good goddamn. Sitek's soundscapes are intriguing and make for easy listening, but I would've rather had Miley fucking Cyrus sing these tunes, and that's saying something. Unfortunately, the title track is somewhat haunting and the album at whole begs me to listen to it. I've never listened so much to something I enjoy so little. It's actually sort of pitiful.
Crookers - Lollypop
I downloaded this song because I thought it was going to be a tongue-in-cheek cover of the Lil Wayne hit of the same name, but it's just a random dance jam. You'll need it to wash down the generally sad ennui the other songs have a tendency to foster.
Here's some sad bastard music to suck on:
Death Cab For Cutie - No Sunlight
I don't have a strong, legit reason for liking this song that much, but I'm just happy it finally knocked "I Will Possess Your Heart" out of my head. That song was as scarily catchy as this one is smooth and digestible. It's Death Cab, not a lot new here, just your average, palatable piece of pop music, but I dig it.
Radiohead - All I Need
I like Radiohead, but I'm more of a The Bends/Pablo Honey kind of guy. All of this post OK Computer, electro-bleepy-bloopy Thom Yorke-The Eraser shit sounds like Philip K. Dick writing a porno about robots fucking. That's not necessarily a criticism, it's just what it feels like to me. This track on In Rainbows was recently used in an anti-child labor music video on MTV but it feels like a dreamy love song, the kind Wong Kar Wai would have in a film and play 12 times until we got the gist.
Amy Milan - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
I blame Matt Breezy for this. If he hadn't started randomly singing "Crooked Teeth" to himself while playing with Rob's brother's guitar and decided to get a Death Cab song from fucking Plans stuck back in my head after all this time, I wouldn't have randomly decided to listen to Stars singer Amy Milan's cover and gotten THAT stuck in my head. Fucking Matt is a fucking Skrull.
Grizzly Bear - Owner of a Lonely Heart
Yes, I like Yes, okay? Yeah, Grizzly Bear covers are fun. Sure, it's sad as hell, but it's called OWNER OF A LONELY HEART. Fuck can you expect?
Scarlett Johansson - Anywhere I Lay My Head
So, I finally let her looks get the best of me and I broke down and downloaded Scarlett's album of Tom Waits covers. On paper, it sounds okay. Hot actress/Woody Allen muse + Dave Sitek producing + Cool Guest Spots = hyped album. The sad part is Scarlett Jo can't sing worth a good goddamn. Sitek's soundscapes are intriguing and make for easy listening, but I would've rather had Miley fucking Cyrus sing these tunes, and that's saying something. Unfortunately, the title track is somewhat haunting and the album at whole begs me to listen to it. I've never listened so much to something I enjoy so little. It's actually sort of pitiful.
Crookers - Lollypop
I downloaded this song because I thought it was going to be a tongue-in-cheek cover of the Lil Wayne hit of the same name, but it's just a random dance jam. You'll need it to wash down the generally sad ennui the other songs have a tendency to foster.
Stuff That Has Me Excited
1) Love Is All Covers EP
Josephine and Co. are putting out an EP full of cover songs. Stereogum has a track listing and more information, but the band's myspace has the first track, a killer cover of Prince's "Darling Nikki." I don't want to say its better than the Foo Fighters' cover, but it is definitely different. A nice salvo to sate you until their new LP drops.
2) Eagle Eye
I still haven't gotten around to watching Disturbia because, in all honesty, I don't need to. There's just certain pop cultural phenomenons you can understand without having to experience firsthand. Someone remaking Rear Window with the guy who directed The Salton Sea, the guy who wrote Red Eye and Shia Lebeuf is one of them.
I knew Hollywood was going to follow up that surprising success by seeing how else they can make Hitchcock more palatable to Generation Y. I, myself, spent some time working on a Vertigo update I was gonna shop to Shia, but apparently DJ Caruso and co. have done one better with their follow-up Eagle Eye, a film based on an old Spielberg script that homages the "wrong man" genre Hitchcock so lovingly gave birth to. It's like North By Northwest with explosions. I definitely think it's going to be worth a view, and releasing it in late August is perfect as it will have little to no box office competition. You go, "Beef."
3) David Goyer and Justin Marks' Supermax
I gave DC and Warner Bros. a load of shit for not stepping their game up in the comic book adaptation racket, but they look like they may be recovering nicely. David Goyer (of the Blade films and Batman Begins) teamed with up-and-coming screenwriter Justin Marks to pen a new kind of superhero movie, Supermax.
The film is basically going to be a Green Arrow movie, which I thought would be cool enough. It'll have GA's origin and all that shit, but instead of the typical "pretend one of his rogues is strong enough to be the film's antagonist" route that most b-level superheroes go for, they're setting the film in a prison full of supervillains after GA is framed for murder. It's like OZ, with superpowers.
Latino Review has a review of the script and details. I feel a nerdgasm coming on. I know they mention Matt Damon as a potential lead, but if they do that it's only to try and one up Marvel. The real lead should be Josh Holloway, from Lost.
Sawyer would totally own as Oliver Queen.
4) Steven Moffat is New Doctor Who Showrunner
Russell T. Davies (of the original Queer As Folk) did a fine job of updating the world's longest running science fiction series for new audiences and pleasing old fans. Four seasons of awesomeness so far and I couldn't think of anyone better to run the show. Well, until Steven "I created Coupling and Jekyll and I write the best episodes of Who and I'm awesome" Moffat got chosen to take-over.
Moffat was responsible for two of the best Who stories since the revamp, "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances" two-parter and "Blink." The only thing more awesome than him taking over the show is that Steven Spielberg (!!!) is about to start shooting his Tintin adaptation. Life is good.
5) Beck and Danger Mouse Team Up
I haven't always been the biggest Beck fan, though I do like pretty much his entire discography. I just can't say I've ever been amped for one of his releases. Now, however, that he is working with uber-producer Danger Mouse (Gnarls Barkley, Dangerdoom, The new Black Keys record, The Grey Album) and attempting to create a 60s brit rock vibe, I am ready for an eargasm.
Beck.com is streaming the first song (or part of a song, w/e) from the upcoming, as-yet-untitled album, called "Chemtrails." I dare you not to like this song. I double dare ya! Say "I don't want to purchase or at least illegally download Beck's new album," motherfucker! Say it one more time!
Josephine and Co. are putting out an EP full of cover songs. Stereogum has a track listing and more information, but the band's myspace has the first track, a killer cover of Prince's "Darling Nikki." I don't want to say its better than the Foo Fighters' cover, but it is definitely different. A nice salvo to sate you until their new LP drops.
2) Eagle Eye
I still haven't gotten around to watching Disturbia because, in all honesty, I don't need to. There's just certain pop cultural phenomenons you can understand without having to experience firsthand. Someone remaking Rear Window with the guy who directed The Salton Sea, the guy who wrote Red Eye and Shia Lebeuf is one of them.
I knew Hollywood was going to follow up that surprising success by seeing how else they can make Hitchcock more palatable to Generation Y. I, myself, spent some time working on a Vertigo update I was gonna shop to Shia, but apparently DJ Caruso and co. have done one better with their follow-up Eagle Eye, a film based on an old Spielberg script that homages the "wrong man" genre Hitchcock so lovingly gave birth to. It's like North By Northwest with explosions. I definitely think it's going to be worth a view, and releasing it in late August is perfect as it will have little to no box office competition. You go, "Beef."
3) David Goyer and Justin Marks' Supermax
I gave DC and Warner Bros. a load of shit for not stepping their game up in the comic book adaptation racket, but they look like they may be recovering nicely. David Goyer (of the Blade films and Batman Begins) teamed with up-and-coming screenwriter Justin Marks to pen a new kind of superhero movie, Supermax.
The film is basically going to be a Green Arrow movie, which I thought would be cool enough. It'll have GA's origin and all that shit, but instead of the typical "pretend one of his rogues is strong enough to be the film's antagonist" route that most b-level superheroes go for, they're setting the film in a prison full of supervillains after GA is framed for murder. It's like OZ, with superpowers.
Latino Review has a review of the script and details. I feel a nerdgasm coming on. I know they mention Matt Damon as a potential lead, but if they do that it's only to try and one up Marvel. The real lead should be Josh Holloway, from Lost.
Sawyer would totally own as Oliver Queen.
4) Steven Moffat is New Doctor Who Showrunner
Russell T. Davies (of the original Queer As Folk) did a fine job of updating the world's longest running science fiction series for new audiences and pleasing old fans. Four seasons of awesomeness so far and I couldn't think of anyone better to run the show. Well, until Steven "I created Coupling and Jekyll and I write the best episodes of Who and I'm awesome" Moffat got chosen to take-over.
Moffat was responsible for two of the best Who stories since the revamp, "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances" two-parter and "Blink." The only thing more awesome than him taking over the show is that Steven Spielberg (!!!) is about to start shooting his Tintin adaptation. Life is good.
5) Beck and Danger Mouse Team Up
I haven't always been the biggest Beck fan, though I do like pretty much his entire discography. I just can't say I've ever been amped for one of his releases. Now, however, that he is working with uber-producer Danger Mouse (Gnarls Barkley, Dangerdoom, The new Black Keys record, The Grey Album) and attempting to create a 60s brit rock vibe, I am ready for an eargasm.
Beck.com is streaming the first song (or part of a song, w/e) from the upcoming, as-yet-untitled album, called "Chemtrails." I dare you not to like this song. I double dare ya! Say "I don't want to purchase or at least illegally download Beck's new album," motherfucker! Say it one more time!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Video Updates or Too Tired To Blog
I figured I ought to post something, but I'm totally lacking in insight this morning, so I'll just re-talk about old crap.
A few days ago, I mentioned how awesome new Fox shows Dollhouse and Fringe looked, then showed brief snippets of the shows. Here are two full-trailer up-front looks for both shows.
DOLLHOUSE
UPDATE: The youtube vid got taken down, so here's a link to a better version of the trailer: Dollhouse
FRINGE
Fringe debuts in September and is coupled with House while Dollhouse bows in January with the return of 24.
While, I'm on a roll, here's a red-band trailer for Ben Stiller's upcoming Tropic Thunder. I had a trailer up a month or two ago, but this one kills that one with a bayonet.
And lastly, for the nerds, here's a trailer for Wolverine & The X-Men, a new cartoon coming to Nickelodeon.
Be here later in the day when I fully wake up and abandon relying on youtub for blog content.
A few days ago, I mentioned how awesome new Fox shows Dollhouse and Fringe looked, then showed brief snippets of the shows. Here are two full-trailer up-front looks for both shows.
DOLLHOUSE
UPDATE: The youtube vid got taken down, so here's a link to a better version of the trailer: Dollhouse
FRINGE
Fringe debuts in September and is coupled with House while Dollhouse bows in January with the return of 24.
While, I'm on a roll, here's a red-band trailer for Ben Stiller's upcoming Tropic Thunder. I had a trailer up a month or two ago, but this one kills that one with a bayonet.
And lastly, for the nerds, here's a trailer for Wolverine & The X-Men, a new cartoon coming to Nickelodeon.
Be here later in the day when I fully wake up and abandon relying on youtub for blog content.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Weekend Mixtape: Make Out. Fall Out. Make Up.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to get through this thing called LIFE.
Electric word LIFE, it means forever and that's a mighty long time, and I'm here to tell you...there's something else.
The weekend. (Yes, I remembered that Prince shit offhand)
Don't be a sad panda like Batman! While tantalizing and inviting, spending the weekend in an armchair, drowning your lovelorn sorrows in an empty apartment with a bottle of Sutton House white wine and non-movie soundtrack Bryan Adams tunes, lamenting your lack of a social life should not be an option for you.
There's girls out there! And booze! Straight edge? Go bowling or something! Get out there and stick your metaphorical pork sword into the moist envelope of LIFE.
And if you decide to go OUT don't pull a Superman III! Sitting there, scowling over shots of Johnnie Walker Red Label at all the pretty girls you're too chicken shit to talk to. Enjoy yourself. Mingle! Liquor is supposed to be a social lubricant, not a repressed fury inducer. Have 21 seasons of The Real World taught you nothing?
Just listen to Josephine:
Here's the actual mix I made. It's a little all over the place, lots of remixes, runs a little long, but trust me, it'll lift your spirits.
FRIDAY
Arctic Monkeys - Dancing Shoes (rhythm del mundo)
Love Is All - Busy Doing Nothing (Optimo remix)
Mark Ronson f. Santogold - Pretty Green
Young Dro Vs. Queens of The Stone Age - Little Sister/Shoulder Lean (DJ A-Trak mix)
Three Six Mafia - Stay Fly (MSTRKRFT remix)
Justice Vs. Santogold - L.E.S.D.A.N.C.E.
Panda Bear - Comfy In Nautica (xxxchange remix)
Diplo f. Daft Punk - Work Is Never Over
Girl Talk - Minute To Minute
SATURDAY
Spank Rock - Lindsay Lohan
Timbaland f. The Hives - Throw It On Me
Ghostland Observatory - Heavy Heart
Kasabian - Shoot The Runner
DJ Shadow - Six Days (soulwax remix)
Mindless Self Indulgence - Never Wanted To Dance
LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House (soulwax shibuya re-edit)
T-Pain f. Young Joc - Buy U A Drank (DJ Twitch remix)
Lykke Li - Little Bit (Diego Chavez remix)
I'd make a Sunday, but honestly, you should be sleeping it off, or going to church, not listening to music.
Electric word LIFE, it means forever and that's a mighty long time, and I'm here to tell you...there's something else.
The weekend. (Yes, I remembered that Prince shit offhand)
Don't be a sad panda like Batman! While tantalizing and inviting, spending the weekend in an armchair, drowning your lovelorn sorrows in an empty apartment with a bottle of Sutton House white wine and non-movie soundtrack Bryan Adams tunes, lamenting your lack of a social life should not be an option for you.
There's girls out there! And booze! Straight edge? Go bowling or something! Get out there and stick your metaphorical pork sword into the moist envelope of LIFE.
And if you decide to go OUT don't pull a Superman III! Sitting there, scowling over shots of Johnnie Walker Red Label at all the pretty girls you're too chicken shit to talk to. Enjoy yourself. Mingle! Liquor is supposed to be a social lubricant, not a repressed fury inducer. Have 21 seasons of The Real World taught you nothing?
Just listen to Josephine:
Here's the actual mix I made. It's a little all over the place, lots of remixes, runs a little long, but trust me, it'll lift your spirits.
FRIDAY
Arctic Monkeys - Dancing Shoes (rhythm del mundo)
Love Is All - Busy Doing Nothing (Optimo remix)
Mark Ronson f. Santogold - Pretty Green
Young Dro Vs. Queens of The Stone Age - Little Sister/Shoulder Lean (DJ A-Trak mix)
Three Six Mafia - Stay Fly (MSTRKRFT remix)
Justice Vs. Santogold - L.E.S.D.A.N.C.E.
Panda Bear - Comfy In Nautica (xxxchange remix)
Diplo f. Daft Punk - Work Is Never Over
Girl Talk - Minute To Minute
SATURDAY
Spank Rock - Lindsay Lohan
Timbaland f. The Hives - Throw It On Me
Ghostland Observatory - Heavy Heart
Kasabian - Shoot The Runner
DJ Shadow - Six Days (soulwax remix)
Mindless Self Indulgence - Never Wanted To Dance
LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House (soulwax shibuya re-edit)
T-Pain f. Young Joc - Buy U A Drank (DJ Twitch remix)
Lykke Li - Little Bit (Diego Chavez remix)
I'd make a Sunday, but honestly, you should be sleeping it off, or going to church, not listening to music.
3 Fall Shows I Want To See That Fox Will No Doubt Cancel Because They Don't Want Me To Be Happy (and One That Looks Like SHIT)
So, I'm a TV nut. That's putting it mildly. I think I actually had an orgasm watching Lost a few weeks ago. Nearly caught myself in the eye. ANYWAY, this is the time of the year when the networks have their up fronts and start pimping their new shows to sponsors and advertisers.
They parade out new picked-up pilots and try to convince one another that they have the next big hit. This is a duller looking year than usual, as the WGA strike threw pilot season's schedule off, leaving us with some serious substandard fare and more reality programming than you can shake a stick at.
Here are my 3 picks, all from FOX weirdly enough. The rest of the networks don't even seem like they tried. Its all woefully irrelevant, as Fox never leaves a show I like on the air, unless its House or Bones, two shows I enjoy but could ultimately not be forced to care less about.
DOLLHOUSE
Former Tru Calling star and general hottie Eliza Dushku had a development deal with Fox and, over lunch, roped former collaborator/Buffy Creator/Nerd God of the Highest Order Joss Whedon to create a new series for her, as he, too, had some shows left on his Fox deal.
The series follows a team of blank-slate operatives deployed for various missions, each one being imprinted with an assumed identity for the task at hand. Dushku plays Echo (all the "dolls," as they are called, have alpha, echo, roger names), the protagonist who begins developing a mind of her own. Some dude plays an FBI agent who gets embroiled in blah blah blah JOSS WHEDON'S BACK ON TV. I'm gonna, what...NOT watch this show?
Here's a sneak preview that doesn't really do or say much about the show but, hey, Eliza Dushku in a dress!
FRINGE
J.J. Abrams is apparently untouchable as a producer (Cloverfield, Lost, the new Star Trek reboot) and is fast becoming geek royalty. His new series, which he created in collaboration with Transformers screenwriters and former Alias cohorts Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.
The show features former Dawson pal Joshua Jackson (last seen in, what, Cursed?), Boston Legal's Mark Valley, and others. It sounds like The X-Files, which is good enough for me. The pilot was directed by Alex Graves, who used to do some good work on The West Wing but I think also worked on Journeyman, so, toss up.
SIT DOWN, SHUT UP
Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz apparently didn't get enough of the ratings/cancellation ASS RAPE he got from Fox last time around, so now he's taking a cue from Seth MacFarlane and producing an animated series about teachers. It sounds alot like BBC series Bromwell High but is actually based on an Australian sitcom.
Make sure you check out the three episodes that will air next spring before it gets canned like some bad spam.
This show is actually from NBC, but it is completely emblematic of why they are dead last in the ratings and have to rely on American Gladiators and Deal or No Deal for ad revenue.
MY OWN WORST ENEMY
Remember The Last Kiss Goodnight, the movie about an amnesiac housewife Geena Davis who wakes up one day and realizes she used to be a bad ass killer for hire mercenary type? Remember how screenwriter Shane Black got paid $4 Million for writing it and it made no money despite featuring both Samuel L. Jackson and Craig Bierko?
Okay, okay.
What if we made it a TV show, and instead of Geena Davis, we have CHRISTIAN FUCKING SLATER?
Yeah, how about that, NBC? You can barely keep Friday Night Lights, one of the finest examples of storytelling in American television history, on the air, but you want to funnel money into Christian Slater's abortive COMEBACK PROJECT? What the fuck? They can't even get Heroes to beat Two and A Half Men on Monday nights. They're gonna bring back the guy I last saw in Hard Rain and Alone In The Fucking Dark?
You know how shitty this show sounds? When all the other upfronts have preview scenes from the upcoming series they plan to debut, this is what My Own Worst Enemy has:
VIDEO FOOTAGE OF SOMEONE TAKING PICTURES!
OF CHRISTIAN FUCKING SLATER!!
I'm sorry GE/Universal. Television is not for you.
They parade out new picked-up pilots and try to convince one another that they have the next big hit. This is a duller looking year than usual, as the WGA strike threw pilot season's schedule off, leaving us with some serious substandard fare and more reality programming than you can shake a stick at.
Here are my 3 picks, all from FOX weirdly enough. The rest of the networks don't even seem like they tried. Its all woefully irrelevant, as Fox never leaves a show I like on the air, unless its House or Bones, two shows I enjoy but could ultimately not be forced to care less about.
DOLLHOUSE
Former Tru Calling star and general hottie Eliza Dushku had a development deal with Fox and, over lunch, roped former collaborator/Buffy Creator/Nerd God of the Highest Order Joss Whedon to create a new series for her, as he, too, had some shows left on his Fox deal.
The series follows a team of blank-slate operatives deployed for various missions, each one being imprinted with an assumed identity for the task at hand. Dushku plays Echo (all the "dolls," as they are called, have alpha, echo, roger names), the protagonist who begins developing a mind of her own. Some dude plays an FBI agent who gets embroiled in blah blah blah JOSS WHEDON'S BACK ON TV. I'm gonna, what...NOT watch this show?
Here's a sneak preview that doesn't really do or say much about the show but, hey, Eliza Dushku in a dress!
FRINGE
J.J. Abrams is apparently untouchable as a producer (Cloverfield, Lost, the new Star Trek reboot) and is fast becoming geek royalty. His new series, which he created in collaboration with Transformers screenwriters and former Alias cohorts Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.
The show features former Dawson pal Joshua Jackson (last seen in, what, Cursed?), Boston Legal's Mark Valley, and others. It sounds like The X-Files, which is good enough for me. The pilot was directed by Alex Graves, who used to do some good work on The West Wing but I think also worked on Journeyman, so, toss up.
SIT DOWN, SHUT UP
Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz apparently didn't get enough of the ratings/cancellation ASS RAPE he got from Fox last time around, so now he's taking a cue from Seth MacFarlane and producing an animated series about teachers. It sounds alot like BBC series Bromwell High but is actually based on an Australian sitcom.
Make sure you check out the three episodes that will air next spring before it gets canned like some bad spam.
This show is actually from NBC, but it is completely emblematic of why they are dead last in the ratings and have to rely on American Gladiators and Deal or No Deal for ad revenue.
MY OWN WORST ENEMY
Remember The Last Kiss Goodnight, the movie about an amnesiac housewife Geena Davis who wakes up one day and realizes she used to be a bad ass killer for hire mercenary type? Remember how screenwriter Shane Black got paid $4 Million for writing it and it made no money despite featuring both Samuel L. Jackson and Craig Bierko?
Okay, okay.
What if we made it a TV show, and instead of Geena Davis, we have CHRISTIAN FUCKING SLATER?
Yeah, how about that, NBC? You can barely keep Friday Night Lights, one of the finest examples of storytelling in American television history, on the air, but you want to funnel money into Christian Slater's abortive COMEBACK PROJECT? What the fuck? They can't even get Heroes to beat Two and A Half Men on Monday nights. They're gonna bring back the guy I last saw in Hard Rain and Alone In The Fucking Dark?
You know how shitty this show sounds? When all the other upfronts have preview scenes from the upcoming series they plan to debut, this is what My Own Worst Enemy has:
VIDEO FOOTAGE OF SOMEONE TAKING PICTURES!
OF CHRISTIAN FUCKING SLATER!!
I'm sorry GE/Universal. Television is not for you.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Marvel Films Offers Warner Bros/DC a New Asshole
For a time, DC Comics had the monopoly on comic-to-film adaptations. You see, the publisher is owned by Warner Bros, so that studio automatically owns the option on all DC Comics characters, making it less of a headache to make a Batman or Superman movie/tv/cartoon/whateverthefuck. Then, in 2000, Fox whipped out their long awaited adaptation of the X-Men, beginning a flood of market-stealing releases. Marvel's been selling more comics than DC for years, but now they were summarily kicking their ass in the media as well.
DC started a bit of a comeback. Batman Begins totally owned, and we'll be nice and not mention Superman Returns. There was even talk of producing a Justice League film. Marvel, however, regained the upper hand.
You see, before, Marvel would sell their properties to various studios. Fox has The X-Men, Daredevil, The Fantastic Four and Ghost Rider. Sony has Spidey. Universal had The Hulk, etc. Their characters were spread out over warring studios. Now, with their own studio owning a majority of their properties, and Paramount backing them up with distribution, they're free to market/produce shit the way they want to.
Tony Stark is kicking all sorts of ass at the box office and Ed Norton's Hulk is on its way. The coolest thing is that all of these films now exist in the same continuity/mythology, meaning Robert Downey Jr. can walk into a scene in the new Hulk movie and it would be in canon. This is all leading up to, as anyone who stayed after the credits of Iron Man can imagine, an Avengers movie.
Here, I'll run down the 5 film projects coming from Marvel that you need to be familiarized with.
1. Ant-Man (TBD)
I've been a die-hard comic book geek since I learned to read, and even I don't give a flying fuck about Ant-Man. He has zero interesting solo adventures and his only worth as a character comes from his association with The Avengers. On his own, the only decent stories anyone's ever plucked from him were mostly parody, which is probably why Edgar Wright (director of Hot Fuzz) is signed on to write and direct this film.
Ant-Man is really scientist Hank Pym, a man who invents a helmet that allows him to shrink and communicate with insects. He also made a thing that lets him grow really large as Giant-Man, but he's still a fucktard mort waste of time. As a character he's interesting because he KNOWS he's a failure. In Marvel mythology he has a gigantic chip on his shoulder as being only the 4th best scientist in the world (behind Reed Richards, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner) and his only real claim to fame is inventing a robot (Ultron) that turns into one of the Avengers' biggest villains and also getting pissed off and beating his wife, The Wasp.
Yeah, let's give this douche his own movie.
Later, as Pym went by Yellowjacket, a man named Scott Lang became Ant-Man, then blew up, then I think another guy took over, but no one gave a shit. Edgar Wright has since decided to shoot Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World first, so there is doubt that his Ant-Man would precede and tie-into the Avengers movie, perhaps waiting until afterwards to spin-OFF from it, instead.
The other shitty thing about this movie is that the best man on the planet to play Hank Pym is Aaron Eckhart, but he's going to be too busy playing Two-Face for the Batman franchise. Lametown.
2. Iron Man II (2010)
This one is a no-brainer. Favreau and the whole crew is back and we can pretty much guarantee that Raza, the leader of the "Ten Rings" terrorist cell, is going to return as the main villain. Alot of non-nerds probably didn't pick up on it, but the character of the terrorist was played up as a modern-day take on Iron Man's ridiculously xenophobic-seeming Mandarin villain, a character born of Vietnam-era politics who used ten magic/tech-based alien rings to, I don't, pretend to be Fu Manchu or something (I'm a nerd, and even I can admit that 90% of actual Iron Man comics suck balls.)
It'll be intriguing to see Favreau & Co try to ground such a fanciful villain in the reality they've created with the first film, as well as possibly adapting the "Demon In A Bottle" or "Armor Wars" stories, not to mention Rhodey becoming War Machine, which Terrence Howard all but spelled out in his late-act two scene, looking at the spare suit. I expect Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury cameo to be expanded some, along with the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D., but only to tease fanboys for The Avengers, not as major plot points or anything.
3. Thor (2010)
If there is one character in the Marvel pantheon who is ridiculously difficult to properly adapt to the screen, it's Thor. The Marvel version of the norse myth is that Thor, son of Odin, is bonded to a young doctor named Donald Blake who finds a stick that, when beaten on the ground, turns into Thor's hammer and turns the holder INTO Thor and the whole thing is Stan Lee's way of allegorically slipping Christ-myth and his usually themes of ordinary people with extraordinary problems into a Kirby-drawn epic fantasy. Classic comic book stuff. Not great cinematic material.
Case in point: Casting. How do you cast a man to play an imposing, larger-than-life God and a dimunitive run-of-the-mill physician? In the comics, they just draw the same guy and add or remove muscles as necessary. You'd have to cast two actors, or settle for a slightly built God/hulking doctor-guy.
Current project screenwriter Mark Protosevich (The Cell, Poseidon, I Am Legend) sidestepped this problem altogether by AVOIDING EVERY ASPECT OF THE CHARACTER THAT MADE HIM A SUPERHERO AND NOT A NORSE MYTH RETREAD!
He basically wrote Beowulf...with a gigantic lighting-storm-starting hammer.
This was, of course, before Marvel had cemented their Avengers plans. The project, now directorless after Stardust and Layer Cake helmer left (second Marvel film he's dropped out of, after X3), is going through massive rewrites to be more in line with the comic-book mythology. I don't know why they don't just hire Beowulf writers Neil Gaiman (a comic God in his own right) and Roger Avary for the project.
There's also rampant rumors that Thor will somehow be introduced in Iron Man II which is so fucking stupid and nonsensical that I'm just going to pretend it's not true. If it's a cool little after the credits, "Hey, Stark, I want you to meet Thor." thing then maybe, but I don't really see him fitting into the story organically.
The good news is that they are currently courting Brad Pitt to play the Thunder God. This solves numerous problems, namely the size issue (Brad's an elastic, erratic performer who has yet to find a role he can't play) and the problem of star power. Now that Robert Downey Jr is Iron Man and Ed Norton Bruce Banner, Marvel has to cast these films knowing that these characters are going to be interacting in a team film.
It's a complex problem. Instead of saying "Who'd make a good Thor?" its now "Who would make a good Thor and play well with Downey, Norton and Sam Fucking Jackson?" Which brings us to...
4. The First Avenger: Captain America (2011)
I have so much shit to say about this project that I'm just going to break it up into two categories.
THE GOOD
- It's a movie about Captain America, one of the most storied, epic, legendary figures in comic book history.
- Since his story ties in so much with Avengers mythology, they're planning on marketing the movie a scant few months before the Avengers movie.
- Since the stories will be connected, there's a good chance a majority of this film will take place solely in WWII, saving the "Cap Wakes Up In Modern Times" stuff for the follow-up.
THE BAD
- It's a movie about Captain America, a character who, for all intents and purposes, was killed last year in comic book continuity.
- The project's current writer is Zak Penn. He also wrote Elektra.
- The current director is Nick Cassavettes. Other than being John Cassavettes' son, he directed The Notebook, John Q. and Alpha Dog.
- As cool as it would be to have an entire film of Cap in WWII, his awakening in the present and being a man out of time is pretty essential to his myth. Otherwise, the Cap movie will just be a two hour trailer for the Avengers movie.
THE UGLY
- Why the fuck is it called The First Avenger: Captain America? That's almost as lame as X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
I really shouldn't down Nick Cassavettes so much. Alpha Dog actually showed some filmmaking promise. This could be the material that brings out the best in him. It could also, to be fair, be another in a long line of cinematic castrations I'd rather hadn't seen the light of day. Jon Favreau really set the bar pretty high as far as awesome interpretations of Marvel characters goes, and Cap is as complex as they come. Casting alone is its own massive throbbing headache.
The man who plays Steve Rogers has to be:
- White. (race is only important in that making him black would become a whole useless story issue)
- Blonde. (if only to keep that weird dynamic of an aryan guy fighting a bunch of Nazis)
- Young-ish (technically Cap was like 25)
- Old-ish (he is also supposed to be somewhat grizzled, imposing and wise beyond his years)
- Striking (he's a poster boy)
- Physically perfect (not perfect perfect, but he's supposed to be a super-soldier)
This man also needs to be able to hold his own with some of the best actors of this generation in a film (The Avengers movie) where he's not only the leader, but a source of inspiration to pretty much the whole fucking world. You can play Superman and just be a cute guy in tights. Captain America is like Jesus Christ, Steve McQueen and John F. Kennedy rolled in a big fucking American flag. Try casting that.
At the moment, my five picks are:
JENSEN ACKLES
Young, relatively unknown, sort of 40sish facial structure, alot of potential.
MATT DAMON
Already proven as both a dramatic actor and an action hero, could fit in well with the ensemble, is fucking Matt Damon.
RYAN GOSLING
Too slight of build, but one of the best actors of his generation.
JASON LEWIS
Looks like a fucking superhero anyway.
VIGGO MORTENSEN
My real bet, but he's too edgy/subversive a performer, possibly too old as well.
This is the most sensitive of Marvel's upcoming projects. Here's hoping they don't fuck up a potential gravy train.
BONUS IRON MAN EASTER EGG:
What's that on Tony's work bench in the background? A trick of the light...or CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD?
5. The Avengers (2011)
If everything goes off without a hitch with these previous films, The Avengers has the potential to be the coolest superhero movie of all time. Jon Favreau will most likely get to direct, as he's already referred to this as this third Iron Man film in interviews. He'll probably bring an assload of writers with him to back up Zak Penn. If they want a story that works, they'll just borrow the one from the first volume of Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's modern-day take on the Avengers, The Ultimates. That cartoon movie already did it, so why not?
Between the group's in-fighting, Captain America's dealing with the modern world, an early act two battle with the Hulk and then the climactic war with the Skrulls (Chitauri, whatever) you've got a perfect summer popcorn action movie. Michael Bay will be crying in a corner for not getting his hands on it. Stay tuned, kids, and 'til then, Make Mine Marvel.
I Invented The Remix (If Diddy Can Say It, So Can I)
Furthering the widely-held belief that I listen to too much music, here's a batch of remixes I'm injecting intravenously this morning to wake the fuck up. I'm too lazy/half awake to link to the actual mp3s, and since I found most of these on The Hype Machine, a better blog aggregator than elbo.ws, you can just go there. Most of these fall under the heading of "popular tracks."
1. Lil' Wayne f. Kanye West - Lollipop (official remix)
I first got a whiff of this track in the background of the hilarious video of Kanye West and Jonah Hill playing Connect 4 ("Chess for dumb people.")
Now, the "official" remix is out. I use quotes for official because there's like 19 other remixes boasting the same claim, one of them featuring T-Pain. Of course, those are all shit on a stick compared to the talk-box/autotuned Kanye making one of his better guest verses in awhile and Wayne killing the track with a machete (contrary to Kanye's prior boast disallow his compatriot from just such an act of track murder.) Seriously, this release actually made me less pissed off that Tha Carter III got pushed back again. I say "less" not "not pissed."
2. Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone (Black Kids Remix)
The Black Kids are a fun band ("I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You") and their remix of Lykke Li's second best track off of Youth Novels (the first being "Little Bit") is pretty fantastic. I've listened to like, twenty different versions of this song, not counting the various live versions there are on youtube (you know a song is good when the singer can sing it in a cab and a bathroom and it still works) but this is my favorite, if for no other reason than you can totally picture Ms. Li doing that herky-jerky, rhythmless dance of hers to it.
BONUS
The dudes over at The Hood Internet cooked up an EP's worth of Lykke Li remixes. At this point, I'll download a mash-up of this girl and Tiny Tim playing a fucking ukulele.
3. Santogold - L.E.S. Artistes (xxxchange remix)
I downloaded her self-titled debut album already but I'm still not ready to jump on the Santogold bandwagon. It's a fun collection of songs and I haven't completely digested it yet, but she still just rubs me as an M.I.A. impersonator. She's got her own thing going on, sure, but that's just how it hits me. This xxxchange remix is pretty hot, though.
4. Usher - Love In This Club (MSTRKRFT Remix)
Hipster Runoff recently posed a question as to whether or not MSTRKRFT could remix anything and make it listenable. I don't totally agree, but they certainly turned out this needless abortion of a song. It now sounds like Usher is partying with Daft Punk at the end of the world in some sort of end-of-the-world let's-fuck-in-a-club kind of party. Just picturing Usher trying to do his lame new dances (like what I call "the defibrillator" where he just thumps his chest up and down) while wearing one of those Daft Punk helmets is cause enough to listen to this remix. It's epic awesomeness is another.
5. N.E.R.D. f. CRS & Pusha T - Everybody Nose (remix)
This song was already the fucking shit when it leaked. There were alot of remixes as well, but for the most part, I felt like the original was pretty untouchable, with the double bass and the sax and the general tone of booty-shaking wonderment. Obviously, I didn't foresee Pusha T from Clipse, Kanye and Lupe Fiasco showing up and slaughtering a Planet Rock sounding, murky synth fest about coke-snorting party girls. Pharrell raps on the song, and it DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHIT. Lupe Fiasco manages to not use his thesaurus. NOT ONCE. Kanye goes a whole verse without saying something that makes me regret being a fan of his. Pusha T reminds me that Clipse' next album is too far away!
Speaking of long-awaited third albums...where is Seeing Sounds? I'm not waiting another fucking month.
BONUS
The new video for the original track (featuring L.Lo):
1. Lil' Wayne f. Kanye West - Lollipop (official remix)
I first got a whiff of this track in the background of the hilarious video of Kanye West and Jonah Hill playing Connect 4 ("Chess for dumb people.")
Now, the "official" remix is out. I use quotes for official because there's like 19 other remixes boasting the same claim, one of them featuring T-Pain. Of course, those are all shit on a stick compared to the talk-box/autotuned Kanye making one of his better guest verses in awhile and Wayne killing the track with a machete (contrary to Kanye's prior boast disallow his compatriot from just such an act of track murder.) Seriously, this release actually made me less pissed off that Tha Carter III got pushed back again. I say "less" not "not pissed."
2. Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone (Black Kids Remix)
The Black Kids are a fun band ("I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You") and their remix of Lykke Li's second best track off of Youth Novels (the first being "Little Bit") is pretty fantastic. I've listened to like, twenty different versions of this song, not counting the various live versions there are on youtube (you know a song is good when the singer can sing it in a cab and a bathroom and it still works) but this is my favorite, if for no other reason than you can totally picture Ms. Li doing that herky-jerky, rhythmless dance of hers to it.
BONUS
The dudes over at The Hood Internet cooked up an EP's worth of Lykke Li remixes. At this point, I'll download a mash-up of this girl and Tiny Tim playing a fucking ukulele.
3. Santogold - L.E.S. Artistes (xxxchange remix)
I downloaded her self-titled debut album already but I'm still not ready to jump on the Santogold bandwagon. It's a fun collection of songs and I haven't completely digested it yet, but she still just rubs me as an M.I.A. impersonator. She's got her own thing going on, sure, but that's just how it hits me. This xxxchange remix is pretty hot, though.
4. Usher - Love In This Club (MSTRKRFT Remix)
Hipster Runoff recently posed a question as to whether or not MSTRKRFT could remix anything and make it listenable. I don't totally agree, but they certainly turned out this needless abortion of a song. It now sounds like Usher is partying with Daft Punk at the end of the world in some sort of end-of-the-world let's-fuck-in-a-club kind of party. Just picturing Usher trying to do his lame new dances (like what I call "the defibrillator" where he just thumps his chest up and down) while wearing one of those Daft Punk helmets is cause enough to listen to this remix. It's epic awesomeness is another.
5. N.E.R.D. f. CRS & Pusha T - Everybody Nose (remix)
This song was already the fucking shit when it leaked. There were alot of remixes as well, but for the most part, I felt like the original was pretty untouchable, with the double bass and the sax and the general tone of booty-shaking wonderment. Obviously, I didn't foresee Pusha T from Clipse, Kanye and Lupe Fiasco showing up and slaughtering a Planet Rock sounding, murky synth fest about coke-snorting party girls. Pharrell raps on the song, and it DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHIT. Lupe Fiasco manages to not use his thesaurus. NOT ONCE. Kanye goes a whole verse without saying something that makes me regret being a fan of his. Pusha T reminds me that Clipse' next album is too far away!
Speaking of long-awaited third albums...where is Seeing Sounds? I'm not waiting another fucking month.
BONUS
The new video for the original track (featuring L.Lo):
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Diablo Cody Needs A Re-Write
I just finished reading a draft of her new film, Jennifer's Body, and I've got woefully mixed feelings. I liked Juno a lot and I've been looking forward to the follow-up, but, having read what I read, I'm a tad worried.
Here's why: The ending sucks.
HARD.
The story's somewhat non-linear, so "technically" the kind of thing we should be waiting for as a climax is actually shown like 15 pages in, leaving the film's real ending on a bit of a pointless cliff-hanger.
I'm getting ahead of myself. Jennifer's Body (possible spoilers) is about a young girl named Anita "Needy" Lesnicki, kind of your typical nerdy-but-cute, too smart for a small town girl (to be played by Mean Girls' supporting player Amanda Seyfried.) She's BFF with Megan Fox's hot it-girl Jennifer Check. An emo-band comes to their town and does some satanic ritual and Jennifer turns into a boy-eating, demon-possessed hellcat, leaving her best friend to have to destroy her, Buffy style.
It's an interesting concept, and Cody writes the fuck out of it. All the artfully esoteric references and cloying dialogue cadences from Juno remain intact, only this time, rather than serving a bittersweet, indie-dramady tone, she's tackling a more darkly comedic horror style.
The self-aware, wink-nod-knowing horror movie's been done, but probably not this stylishly in some time. The characters are well drawn, at least the ones who aren't background gen-y satire stand-ins. The actual horror elements are intriguing, even on the page, and the film looks to be gory beyond all plausibility. It's a nice blend of Joss Whedon-esque, girl-power genre-mish-mash and The Craft style teen pap. If I sound kind of jaded on the subject, it's only because the last 15 pages of the script pissed me off so much. I, for the most part, loved the goddamn thing.
It just needs a rewrite. It is literally like Diablo Cody wrote the script without a real roadmap, and figured she'd come up with a more interesting climax than the one she spoiled in the film's opening and never got around to it. The draft is dated September of '07, so I'm hoping she did some polish work before they went into production. Otherwise, this movie is fucked.
If you come out the gate and win a fucking Oscar for your first screenplay, especially for a film already enjoying a healthy critical backlash, your sophomore effort really can't afford that type of junior mistake. Another review compared it to being her Mallrats, ie, a film that attempts to keep the stylistic integrity of the first film, but reach out to a more mainstream audience and fail.
Not helping matters at all is director Karyn Kusama, fresh off her spectacular bomb/waste of studio money Aeon Flux. She probably signed on to do this movie hoping to ride the Diablo Cody Gravy Train out of Director Jail, but if they don't touch up that third act, she'll just be another passenger on the sinking ship.
Wednesdays...
If you're a nerd, Wednesdays are awesome because new comics come out. If you're anyone else, it's Hump Day, the midway point between the hell of Mondays and the freedom the weekend brings. I made a Muxtape for the occasion.
Hump Day, Bitches
Also, if you're a movie geek, there's a new site you must frequent: PDFscreenplays.net
Their selection of scripts isn't as exhaustive as Daily Script or Simply Scripts but it definitely brings the heat with some nice unproduced gems (Alex Garland's draft of the Halo movie) and a few great finds that aren't in theaters yet, like Rian Johnson's Brick follow-up The Brothers Bloom or Bryan Singer's new Tom Cruise movie Valkrie.
The real find is Diablo Cody's new script Jennifer's Body. It reads like a mash-up of Heathers and Lost Boys. This being said, if you were at all annoyed by her dialogue in Juno you will most likely STILL hate her.
GRATUITOUS MEGAN FOX PIC
Megan Fox, hottie from Transformers, is in Cody's new film and AICN got some topless photos of her on-set. Personally, I prefer porn to random celebrity nude pics, but I imagine someone else will make good use of them here.
Hump Day, Bitches
Also, if you're a movie geek, there's a new site you must frequent: PDFscreenplays.net
Their selection of scripts isn't as exhaustive as Daily Script or Simply Scripts but it definitely brings the heat with some nice unproduced gems (Alex Garland's draft of the Halo movie) and a few great finds that aren't in theaters yet, like Rian Johnson's Brick follow-up The Brothers Bloom or Bryan Singer's new Tom Cruise movie Valkrie.
The real find is Diablo Cody's new script Jennifer's Body. It reads like a mash-up of Heathers and Lost Boys. This being said, if you were at all annoyed by her dialogue in Juno you will most likely STILL hate her.
GRATUITOUS MEGAN FOX PIC
Megan Fox, hottie from Transformers, is in Cody's new film and AICN got some topless photos of her on-set. Personally, I prefer porn to random celebrity nude pics, but I imagine someone else will make good use of them here.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Porn Star Vs. Indie Songstress Double Feature: Late Mother's Day Edition
I haven't done one of these in awhile, but a close friend's been gagging for it. I'd be derelict in my duties were I to deny him this pleasure, and I can't really do that. To make up for lost time, we've got two bouts. One I was itching to write and one to coincide with mother's day.
First up: ANNA ROSE VS. BETH DITTO (big girl throwdown)
ANNA ROSE
Anna's a relative newbie in the porn game. She's only got a handful of scenes, and the best bets are the ones she did for BTRA (Big Tits Round Asses, shout out to Preston Parker!) She's cute, part German (I think) and has a very delicate, innocent, doe-eyed vibe in her work. She's stacked to death and looks like she should be haunting Marcello Mastroianni in a Fellini film. I'd Top 10 her without a second thought and that's saying alot as I can't voice a simple preferential opinion without hours of neurotic deliberation. Here's hoping she (along with her hot cheetah-print tramp stamp) makes it big.
BETH DITTO
It'd be a stretch to call Gossip frontwoman Beth Ditto "curvy" or "thick." That girl's just big. Now, I like a big girl. There's something very Botticelli-esque about a lovely looking, ample bosom. Beth Ditto, however, stretches this standard. For every semi-cute snapshot of Beth blowing a fan a kiss or belting out a tune on Letterman, there's an equally nauseating photo of her half-clothed and sweaty, screaming with mussed hair and smudged make-up. I know she's supposed to be this hipster-lesbian-big-girls-rule spokesperson type, but every time she poses naked on the cover of an English music mag or tries to flash a camera, she's knocking big chicks down on the totem pole.
On the plus side, The Gossip have some nice songs.
WINNER: ANNA ROSE
MOTHER'S DAY MAIN EVENT:
FRIDAY VS. NEKO CASE
FIRST UP: FRIDAY
Discounting Ava Devine or the occasional Eden scene, (Linda) Friday is easily the finest working Milf in porn. She's buxom, hot, and in demand, probably one of the best reasons to have a Bangbros or Brazzers pass. Her entire C.V. is filled with perfect scenes, from her chubbier amateur work to her inflatable fake tit MILF scenes even to her scarce but excellent interracial stuff. Friday's got a strength that a disturbing number of porn stars lack.
She genuinely looks like she's having fun.
Every girl plays the part of "I just like sex. I LOVE being on camera!" but it always looks forced and at times awkward or knowing. That sense that you're watching a work can kill a scene. Friday never has that problem. When they put her on MilfLessons at Bangbros, you very nearly buy the whole "we just found this hot mom who wanted to fuck" premise. She just makes fucking for film look enjoyable. Some people say the big "F" tattoo she has over her pussy stands for "fucking" but it really stands for "fun." She's like one of those dancing trampoline girls from The Man Show, only naked and taking lots of cock.
HER OPPONENT
NEKO CASE
So, yeah, if you want to be a twat about it, technically Neko Case isn't a milf, since she's not a mom, but she could be. She's starting to get that Tennessee Williams, woman-of-a-certain-age southerner thing going on, even if she is vaguely Canadian (born in VA, though, so represent.) When her last solo album, Fox Confessor Brings The Flood came out, I used to listen to it nightly. I literally couldn't sleep without it. Her voice is just so fucking relaxing.
Yeah, she's gorgeous, but I feel bad pointing that out when you consider how disgustingly fantastic her music is. Her voice is so clear and angelic, her songwriting rich with depth and texture. Her music turns my headphones into a Fleshlight for my ears. Plus, she was on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
WINNER: NEKO CASE
First up: ANNA ROSE VS. BETH DITTO (big girl throwdown)
ANNA ROSE
Anna's a relative newbie in the porn game. She's only got a handful of scenes, and the best bets are the ones she did for BTRA (Big Tits Round Asses, shout out to Preston Parker!) She's cute, part German (I think) and has a very delicate, innocent, doe-eyed vibe in her work. She's stacked to death and looks like she should be haunting Marcello Mastroianni in a Fellini film. I'd Top 10 her without a second thought and that's saying alot as I can't voice a simple preferential opinion without hours of neurotic deliberation. Here's hoping she (along with her hot cheetah-print tramp stamp) makes it big.
BETH DITTO
It'd be a stretch to call Gossip frontwoman Beth Ditto "curvy" or "thick." That girl's just big. Now, I like a big girl. There's something very Botticelli-esque about a lovely looking, ample bosom. Beth Ditto, however, stretches this standard. For every semi-cute snapshot of Beth blowing a fan a kiss or belting out a tune on Letterman, there's an equally nauseating photo of her half-clothed and sweaty, screaming with mussed hair and smudged make-up. I know she's supposed to be this hipster-lesbian-big-girls-rule spokesperson type, but every time she poses naked on the cover of an English music mag or tries to flash a camera, she's knocking big chicks down on the totem pole.
On the plus side, The Gossip have some nice songs.
WINNER: ANNA ROSE
MOTHER'S DAY MAIN EVENT:
FRIDAY VS. NEKO CASE
FIRST UP: FRIDAY
Discounting Ava Devine or the occasional Eden scene, (Linda) Friday is easily the finest working Milf in porn. She's buxom, hot, and in demand, probably one of the best reasons to have a Bangbros or Brazzers pass. Her entire C.V. is filled with perfect scenes, from her chubbier amateur work to her inflatable fake tit MILF scenes even to her scarce but excellent interracial stuff. Friday's got a strength that a disturbing number of porn stars lack.
She genuinely looks like she's having fun.
Every girl plays the part of "I just like sex. I LOVE being on camera!" but it always looks forced and at times awkward or knowing. That sense that you're watching a work can kill a scene. Friday never has that problem. When they put her on MilfLessons at Bangbros, you very nearly buy the whole "we just found this hot mom who wanted to fuck" premise. She just makes fucking for film look enjoyable. Some people say the big "F" tattoo she has over her pussy stands for "fucking" but it really stands for "fun." She's like one of those dancing trampoline girls from The Man Show, only naked and taking lots of cock.
HER OPPONENT
NEKO CASE
So, yeah, if you want to be a twat about it, technically Neko Case isn't a milf, since she's not a mom, but she could be. She's starting to get that Tennessee Williams, woman-of-a-certain-age southerner thing going on, even if she is vaguely Canadian (born in VA, though, so represent.) When her last solo album, Fox Confessor Brings The Flood came out, I used to listen to it nightly. I literally couldn't sleep without it. Her voice is just so fucking relaxing.
Yeah, she's gorgeous, but I feel bad pointing that out when you consider how disgustingly fantastic her music is. Her voice is so clear and angelic, her songwriting rich with depth and texture. Her music turns my headphones into a Fleshlight for my ears. Plus, she was on Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
WINNER: NEKO CASE
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