Get Your Mickey Factz Straight

I don't know where it came from, but I think I have a new favorite musical subgenre. The cool kids are calling it "hipster hop." I calls it "can i has a more?"




This quaint little umbrella includes artists like Kid Sister, The Cool Kids, Flosstradamus, and others. I've always been a fan of underground hip hop music, from Def Jux to the okayplayer, Roots-types. I fuck with all of it. The thing I'm liking about this new little wrinkle is that its bringing back something hip hop music's been missing: fun.

Yeah, you could argue that Soulja Boy just wants to have fun, but fuck him (YAHHH TRICK YAHHH). I'm talking about being enjoyable without being retarded. The Roots, Talib Kweli, dead prez: all amazing hip hop acts. I love them to death, but they're so fucking deep. They're intrinsically bound with their ideologies and political leanings that its hard to just kick back with them in your headphones.

Def Jux labelmates like Aesop Rock and El-P are awesome, too, but they're so out there. They all subscribe to that Kool Keith-Dr. Octagon, weird-as-fuck school of hip hop production, with their overly verbose rhymes and generally headache inducing flows.

To ask a question posed by Ghostface Killah in a recent interview, whatever happened to "can I kick it?"

Its back, bitches.

These new artists fuse skate culture, hipster fashion senses, late 80s native-tongues attitude, and bass-and-drum heavy beats with clever pop culture references and a likable swagger. I know everyone was getting used to calling Lupe Fiasco the future of hip hop, but, pocket thesaurus and sociopolitical insight notwithstanding, he's not it.



Listen to "I Rock" from The Cool Kids or "Southside" from Kid Sister. These motherfuckers are the future.

The guy I'm really fucking with right now is Mickey Factz. He rolls with Chuck Inglish and Mickey Rocks (of the Cool Kids) and he's got two killer mixtapes that you have to hear.



"In Search of The N.E.R.D." is a compendium of killer freestyles laid over N.E.R.D. instrumentals and his follow-up "Heaven's Fallout" shows a lot of growth in a little time.

Both are available at www.gfcny.com

He's no Weezy, but I know we haven't heard the last of him.

SECRET INVASION SPOILERS!!!!!

This is for the fanboys.

Every year, the Big Two comic book publishers put out their own blockbuster mini-series in an attempt to capture the summer movie extravaganza feel and you can define who you are by which one you're excited about. DC Comics is gearing up for their big continuity shattering event Final Crisis from certifiably insane scotsman Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones while Marvel is prepping Secret Invasion from Brian Michael Bendis and Leiil Yu. I'll read both, and I love Grant, but I'm pumped for Invasion.



The series follows a story that's been hiding in the Marvel Universe and planned for about four years wherein Skrulls, an evil, shape-shifting, alien race hellbent on taking over Earth, have infiltrated the super-hero community. It's very reminiscent of V and the new Battlestar Galactica only happening in the mainstream Marvel universe. Basically, anyone could be a Skrull.

Recently, some pretty crazy spoilers got revealed in a pretty crazy controversy by an alleged marvel intern/blogger called marvel b0y. There's a few stories about the issue here and here.

I've actually tracked down the "big" spoilers he wrote about. If they're true, they're cool, even though the general nerd consensus is that this is some hype-viral-bullshit on Marvel's part to get some publicity. The things he said do match up with some notes editor Tom Brevoort posted recently (here), so who knows?

I, myself, have gotten my hands on some insider info to how the eight-issue series ends. It's a big, big, big fucking spoiler, so prepare yourself:

CLICK IF YOU DARE



Yes. You just got rickrolled.
But, hey, even Rick Astley could be a Skrull.

Top 5 Eerie Acoustic Covers I Like Way Too Much

Most covers suck.

This is not an overstatement. Anyone who has ever been subjected to Sheryl Crow's anal rape of Guns N' Roses' "Sweet Child O' Mine" can attest to that. The rare occasion when one musician takes another's work and reinterprets it is to be celebrated. I picked these five because they're all peculiar live performances that on paper should suck balls but are actually pretty cool.

5. "Billie Jean" - Chris Cornell (Michael Jackson cover)



I came across this on comic book writer Brian Michael Bendis' message board. At first I was freaked out, then I was kind of intrigued, then I went back to being freaked out, then I listened to it another three or four times. I dig it. Its the second most surprising thing Cornell has done that I like (the first being his Bond song in Casino Royale.)

4. "Cry Me A River" - Glen Hansard (Justin Timberlake cover)



After seeing Once I totally fell in love with the musical stylings for Glen Hansard. The Irish-guy-with-a-guitar genre is pretty well plummed, but something about the emotions he evokes is startling and genuine. Plus, he seems to have a quiet, understated sense of irony, which is always welcome.

3. "Sweet Fantasy" - Owen Pallet (of Final Fantasy) (Mariah Carey cover)



Anyone who can channel Screaming Mimi armed only with a violin (or is it a viola?), a looping board, and what I eyeball at 76lbs of body weight is pretty fucking impressive. I've never been a big Final Fantasy fan, but this cover is cute, sort of the way a young girl is when she puts on mommy's make-up, or, come to think of it, a young boy in mommy's make-up.

2. "Thriller" - Ben Gibbard (Michael Jackson cover)



Despite looking suspiciously like a Lego blockhead person brought to life by some feeble, Gepetto-type, Ben Gibbard's got some soul. Not a lot of soul, mind you, but enough. He manages to turn probably the least scary song written about scary things ever into the scariest. In the original, there's so much dancing and Quincy Jones produced awesome that you seldom feel afraid (except for all the Vincent Price stuff, or choice parts of the legendary music video.) Here, though, beneath the veneer of hipstery "Hey, I know that song!" snark, there's some genuine chills to be had.

1. "Since U Been Gone/Maps" - Ted Leo (Kelly Clarkson/ Yeah Yeah Yeahs cover)



I love Ted Leo. He's like a little indie-rock Bruce Springsteen. I also seriously love the song that made Kelly Clarkson tolerable, but before this cover, it wasn't quite okay to admit to that. To be honest, it still isn't, but I feel comfortable knowing Ted's in my corner, eating a veggie burger and nodding his head. Also, gotta love that he capitalizes on the ripped Nick Zinner guitar part to seque into another great song no one should feel ashamed to love.

Bonus:

I don't like Donnie Darko as much as most fanatics do, but this is a pretty choice cover. Most know it from that freaky Gears of War tv spot.

"Mad World" - Gary Jules (Tears For Fears cover)

Thanks A Bunch, Public School

Apparently the Blog Readability Test says I'm a fucking idiot. The weird thing is that when I gave it the URL of my facebook blog, it said "High School" even though half of that blog is imported posts from here.

I smell conspiracy. That or I've been getting really lazy with my prose.

To be fair, My Old Kentucky Blog is apparently "Elementary School" level, the same as a blog I kept up back in high school. Sorry, Dodge. I feel your pain.

Stupid MF - Mindless Self Indulgence

Genre Ear Marks in Trailers or "King Kong Ain't Got Shit On Keanu!!!"

I'm a movie trailer addict. Nine times out of ten, if I see a good movie in theaters, but I have to sit through fifteen minutes of bullshit previews, I have a bad feeling in my gut for the rest of the film.

File under reason #2046 why I loves the interwebs. Trailers are just a click away!

There's something about movie trailers that makes them almost superior to the films themselves. Everyone knows a comedy trailer has all the funny parts in the movie condensed into two minutes, complete with funny sound effects used as censors for the f-bombs and what have you. Case in point: Tropical Thunder



I want to see this movie, but I'd just as soon not. Why? Because the trailer's got me fucking covered. Ben Stiller will be entertaining for his usual twenty minutes before I get sick of seeing his face. Steve Coogan will be an underrated scene-stealer. I will continue to wish I was Robert Downey Jr. I'm good to fucking go.

Everyone knows the comedy trailer. You should. Its what pretty much everyone actually leaves the house to watch. Less viewed, but equally interesting are trailers to twisty, nothing-is-what-it-seems dramas that never make enough money to matter to the general public and lack the gravitas it takes for awards.

This year, we've got Deception, an erotic-thriller starring Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor that is guaranteed to change titles for another time before its theatrical release.



See? That's a trailer.

- Easy to follow, dangerously unrealistic Hitchcockian premise? Check.
- At least two(2) familiar actors playing opposing forces? Check.
- At least two(2) hot female characters whose sole narrative purpose is gratuitous displays of flesh? Check.
- Hammy and ridiculous titles designed to make everything seem foreboding and uncertain? Check.

Now, if Ewan was playing Obi-Wan and Jackman playing Wolverine, this movie would be even more appetizing.

Lastly, my personal favorite.

David Ayer has made a nice little niche for himself in Hollywood. He wrote Training Day and did some script doctoring on SWAT and has been the go-to guy for Los Angeles-set, gritty crime dramas ever since. This latest collab with legendary noir writer James Ellroy (Ayer also worked on Dark Blue) was originally titled The Night Watchman but was changed to Street Kings.

I'm just happy they didn't spell it with a 'z.'


The Street Kings Trailer from Alltid Aldri on Vimeo.

Everything an urban crime drama needs in today's marketplace.

- Rappers turned actors. (see American Gangster)
- Forest Whitaker (see:, well, nothing, he's just awesome)
- A hip-hop song reminding us of what the "street" feels like (yeah, it's Lupe Fiasco, which seems almost like a mistake. Everyone knows black people don't like Lupe. Maybe Rick Ross wouldn't give a clearance.)
- Keanu letting out the badass, which sounds exactly like Keanu in everything, including The Lake House.

Ben Stiller will make an assload of money and try and keep the comedic juggernaut that is Judd Apatow at bay. No one will see Deception except bored people thinking its some kind of porn, and Street Kings will either be fantastic and a new staple of the genre, or a joke. I'm hoping the former, but I'm totally prepared to get down with the latter.

Scott Pilgrim - THE MOVIE

Edgar Wright saved my life once.

Okay, that's not quite true. Edgar Wright saved my life loads of times. His work (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, the awesomeness that is Spaced) is the type of pop culture madness that nerds wish they were capable of creating on their own. He is a geek God of massive proportions.

That is why when I heard he'd be adapting Bryan Lee O'Malley's graphic novel opus Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life I flipped my fucking shit. I literally had a coronary. If you've never read any of the Scott Pilgrim books:

A) I hate you and we can't be friends anymore.
B) Seriously, you can't even come to my housewarming Party.
C) I don't care if you brought beer.
D) Stop reading this and go buy the books.

Scott Pilgrim is a 23 year old Canadian slacker who must do battle with his new girlfriend's seven evil ex-boyfriends in order to keep dating her. Yes, it is exactly as awesome as it sounds, only moreso.

Bryan Lee O'Malley has given us the perfect synthesis of everything I love. Indie rock, video games, manga, unrequited romance. I seriously cannot think of a series as brilliant as this one to come from the world of comics in forever.

So, to recap: Edgar Wright + Scott Pilgrim = Super Happy Funtime - $10.

One of my best friends and I once spent forty-five minutes at a Red Robin eating fries and dream casting the upcoming Scott Pilgrim movie. We did one serious casting session, and one mostly utilizing friends of ours we thought would be good fits (seriously, Ryan McGovern could totally play Scott.)

Alas, none of our nerd babble included Michael Cera, who is actually going to BE playing Scott Pilgrim. He's the only official cast member so far, and I can't disagree with his signing.



He's commercially viable, funny, talented, about the right age, and not a bad fit (sorry, McGovern.)

So, with that in mind, I'm going to round out the cast myself. Its up to Wright & Co. to listen to me or not, but I've had this fucking movie stuck in my head for the past hour and this is the only way I see fit to get it out.

NOTE: I'm well aware that the film is supposed to be an adaptation of all six volumes of the book, but in my world, this would be a film series a la Harry Potter, only less twee and more awesome.

Here goes...

RAMONA FLOWERS



Zooey Deschanelwasn't my first choice, only because I really couldn't decide who could pull this part off. Ramona is an enigmatic character. She's got to be desirable, clever, badass, and kind of off-putting. You need to love Ramona in one scene, root for her in a fight in another, and still be suspicious of how good she is for Scott.

Some message board nerd mentioned Zooey and I was a little unsure. I love She & Him Volume 1, and all of her movies are pretty great. My test was basically to re-read key scenes in the GNs with Zooey's voice, and she passed. Also, she'd be cool with a big ass hammer.

KIM PINE




I'd like to think her having previously worked with Michael Cera has nothing to do with me wanting to cast Ellen Page as the drummer in Scott's band, Sex Bob-omb, but I'm not sure I can say that with certainty. Ellen page just has cynical side that is perfect for Kim, the resident sarcasm spewing, surly seductress that used to date Scott and now has dreams of him being killed.

That and I'd like to see her with red hair.

STEPHEN STILLS



James Franco might be a little old for our cast, but I can't think of anyone else who could embody this character. He's laidback, charismatic, cool, and Stephen's relationship with girlfriend Julie Powers just reminds me alot of the one James Franco had on Freaks and Geeks with Kim Kelly.

YOUNG NEIL



Basically, Jorma looks young-ish, innocent and vacant. Fucker'd only have like three lines in the whole movie. He doesn't pass the "looks like a younger scott" test is Cera is cast, but I'm feeling him for this.

KNIVES CHAU



I know I already cast Julia Ling as Aja in my fake Jem movie, but I really love this girl. She had a bit part on an old episode of Aaron Sorkin's short-lived Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip and she was very Knives-esque, which is to say she was young, cute, Asian and kind of scary.

WALLACE WELLS



Joseph Gordon-Levitt, for no other reason than he is awesome in everything he does now and I think he'd make a funny gay roommate. He looks a little like Wallace, and I can see him really playing up the boozy, weirdness Scott has to put up with.

STACEY PILGRIM



Alia Shawkat is the only piece of Michael Cera-bating casting decision-stuff. I just think it'd be cute if she played his sister after sort of doing it for a few years on Arrested Development. She doesn't look too much like Stacey, but she's got the right personality, and really needs the work. She's like the only person from that show not getting good parts. Well, other than Portia de Rossi, but who really gives a flying fuck?

JULIE POWERS



Leighton Meester is already such a cunt on Gossip Girl (or so I'm told) that it wouldn't be a stretch for her to be Stephen Stills' on-again-off-again girlfriend who apparently hates all of her friends.

NATALIE 'ENVY' ADAMS



Nora Zehetner was born to play Envy. If you don't believe me, watch Brick. She could play that arc of lovely and unassuming into epic, amazonian level bitch. Nora's a heartbreaker, and she'd look good in those boots.

LISA MILLER



I'm not sure how good she'd look blonde, but Camilla Belle has that cuteness that Lisa Miller needs. I can totally see her re-emerging into Scott's life, dressing just slutty enough to get noticed, but being very coy and flirty.

HOLLIE & JOSEPH





Kat Denning just has that Hollie feel to me, even though I only know her for being Catherine Keener's daughter in The 40-Year Old Virgin. Jesse Eisenberg gay and with a beard is just too funny and opportunity to pass up (neither pictured, but seriously, Jesse + Beard = Funny).

LYNETTE GUYCOTT



I kind of want to sleep with new singer Ingrid Michaelson, which has no bearing whatsoever on me casting her in those small part. That, and I think she really does have a bionic arm.

MATTHEW PATEL



I so want to be the guy who DOESN'T say Kal Penn for this, but I'm just that lazy. Actually, Aziz Ansari would be alot funnier. Go, Clell Tickle!

LUCAS LEE



The dickheaded pro-skater turned pro-actor is basically a jab at Jason Lee anyway. Why not pay him for it?

TODD INGRAM



Ed Westwick already plays a handsome, over-confident prick on Gossip Girl(yes, I watched it, alright? Back the fuck off.) I'd love to see him pull of the vegan psychic powers and the exploding-into-an-extra-life headbutt.

ROXANNE RICHTER



Emma Stone isn't quite zaftig enough to play the plus-size, Half-Ninja ex-girlfriend Ramona tried to keep secret, but what girl wouldn't accept a role where she gets paid to put on a few? Emma's got the right about of zing and could probably pull of that chip on the shoulder, college-phase lesbian thing.

GIDEON



Keith Murray, frontman of dance-rock-pop-punkers We Are Scientists, is not an actor, but he is funny. I mean, he covered a Nickelback song. Also, I think he's harboring the kind of vitriol it would take to send a bunch of evil ex-boyfriends at an unassuming slacker.

BONUS

Scott Pilgrim & The Totally Awesome Soundtracky Mixtape

1. Scott Pilgrim - Plumtree MP3
2. Chick Habit - April March MP3
3. You're No Rock N Roll Fun - Sleater-KinneyMP3
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No DoubtMP3
5. Nrrrd Grrrl - MC ChrisMP3
6. Bastards Of Young - The ReplacementsMP3
7. Ballad Of A Comeback Kid - New PornographersMP3
8. Girlfriend In A Coma - The SmithsMP3
9. Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt - We Are ScientistsMP3
10. Scott Pilgrim's Sad Restaurant Song - Matthew SeelyMP3

New Big Boi!!! (Raekwon & Andre 3 Stacks in tow)

I, too, was surprised when Mr. 3000 himself took a break from impersonating a schizophrenic, 21st century Prince and returned to his 5 Star MC roots. Popping up on every fucking remix from "Throw Some D's" to "Walk It Out," Andre Benjamin reclaimed a spot among the best living MCs. He and his Outkast partner Big Boi have solo albums coming out this year. Andre's isn't until the fall, but Big's drops this summer.

Here's a salvo from Big Boi's, featuring the aforementioned Mr. Benjamin and the Wu-Chef himself, Raekwon.


Royal Flush - Big Boi, f. Raekwon & Andre 3000

As they say in Burger Bowling, "I'm fucking lovin' it!"

Porn Star Vs. Indie Songstress: Volume 3 (Girl-On-Girl Tag Team Edition)

So, I figured I'd spice things up a bit around here. I asked myself, body sat in lounge chair, smoking pipe gripped in mouth, "what, pray tell, is hotter than a porn star and an indie singer?" The answer. TWO porn stars and TWO indie singers. Oh, and they're lesbians.

LESBIAN ACTION! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!!!

Reppin' Porn Valley...

THE TEAM OF --

FLOWER TUCCI & OLIVIA O'LOVELY



Flower Tucci (appropriately pronounced "tush-y") and Olivia O'Lovely are the cutest couple to ever hit porn. Oh, they didn't hit together, or start out as one, but some of their best video work has been in each other's arms (or thighs.) They're similar in alot of ways. Both are known for their ridonkulously large posteriors. They both have hot tats. They both have interesting ethnic backgrounds (Flower - Italian, Irish, Swedish and Olivia - Italian, Spanish, Chilean and French.)



Flower is an anal queen in the industry. She's also the reigning empress of squirting. I've seen alot of girls squirt in movies, especially if Lexington Steele is involved, but no one gushes quite like Flow. Spit-gagging blowjobs, Proctologist-scaring anal scenes, some of the best interracial work EVER. Flower, a former Seymour Butts tushy-girl, is quite simply, without peer.



Unless we count her longtime girlfriend Olivia O'Lovely. As notorious for her big hips and ass as her huge tits, Olivia is something of a jack (off) of all trades. There's not a genre you couldn't put her in. Plus, if I didn't already love her work enough, she's in a video with Murs (and Shock G, the one who puts the satin in your sheets.)



The coolest thing about Olivia and Flower is that they represent the best of porn. Every guy loves girl-on-girl, but watch enough porn and it becomes kind of stale. The girls barely look into it, or worse, they pull that early ClubJenna-era, artsy bullshit that looks like one of those Playboy videos Michael Bay used to direct, all air-brushed and soft kisses. If I wanted that shit, I'd watch The L-Word.

While alot of girls are "gay-for-pay." Basically, they can pull of the lesbian shit because its all in a day's work. That lingering doubt as to whether the girls are really into it or just playing to the camera kind of goes away when you're watching Flower and Olivia, because they're really involved. It works.

Now...


Their opponents, hailing from America's retarded younger brother, Canada...

TEGAN & SARA



Semi-famous indie recording artists Tegan & Sara are not just lesbians, they're also TWIN SISTERS. So, let's recap. Twins. Check. Lesbians. Check. Esoterically cute. Check.

Infectious and lovable covers of Prince songs?



Double check!

You've got to love Tegan & Sara. I'd only heard a few tracks off of So Jealous and I probably would've skipped The Con altogether if I hadn't gotten their lead single "Back In Your Head" lodged in my head thanks to mtv2. I'm glad I did, too, because the album is phenomenal. Strong, emotive songwriting, clever wordplay, beautifully catchy arrangements. It's no wonder MTV stuck them in a weird wave of cross promotion.

I mean, it was kind of off-putting to hear their aforementioned single after a new episode of Run's House but I think the reverend would approve.

The dichotomy between this week's porn couple and their indie-rock competitors is one th at exists in the minds of all men. The hot, fuckable, fantasy-driven Lipstick Lesbians we see on television and (natch) pornography, and the regular, plaintive, semi-cute Real-Life Lesbians we see, well, out in real life.

I know its a broad generalization (really a generalization about broads) and alot of people will object, but Olivia and Flower are just not the norm when it comes to lesbians. I'm not doubting the intensity of their passion for one another, nor will I stop watching their vids. I'm just saying that lesbians, by and large, don't always look that glamorous.

They don't have to.

Who do women get made up for? Men, because we're into that sort of shit. They don't have to do it for other women. I imagine that if you're in a healthy, gay relationship, the only reason for a lesbian to get that made up would be for herself, which I suppose is why sapphic sex seems so appealing.

Guys like it because its hot and they just want to watch, and I imagine women get into because its a pleasant alternative to all of the bullshit they have to deal with on a regular cock-filled basis. It would take alot to turn a straight man gay, but if a woman's had a bad week, a lousy break-up and one too many Long Island Iced Teas, you can bet going home with a girl's a damn good possibility.

What does this have to do with our fight? These girls represent opposite sides of a similar coin. Olivia and Flower offer us a fabrication based in fact that serves to titillate and arouse us. By putting their sexuality on display, they allow us (horny men) to bask in the glow of their hotness.

Tegan & Sara (who it must be said, are NOT romantically involved. Just because they're gay doesn't mean they're also incestuous) sing songs about heartbreak, falling in and out of love. A side of same-sex relationships that porn just wasn't created to shed light on. Yes, regular lesbians may have sex as hot as Olivia and Flower, but we don't get to see that. Olivia and Flower have probably already broken up, and I imagine the feelings they both have now aren't that different than the ones expressed in Tegan & Sara's music.

Like I said, they are both opposite sides of the same coin. This one's a toss-up.

BONUS --

The White Stripes fantastic cover of Tegan & Sara's "Walking With A Ghost."

Tha Carter III: "Chinese Democracy" or The Next "Blueprint"

The similarities between self-proclaimed Best Rapper Alive Lil' Wayne and GNR frontman Axl Rose are miniscule and largely specious. Both have been at the top of their game in their respective genres (1988 Axl, present-day Weezy). Both have copious documented dalliances with famous members of the opposite sex. Both have braids.



The kicker is this: They've both been keeping us waiting for far too long.

Sure, Axl's made us wait over a decade for Chinese Democracy, and Weezy only a year or so, but in an accelerated society like ours, the wait for Lil' Wayne's ever-forthcoming release Tha Carter III FEELS like its been forever.

Back in the day, when rock fans were waiting for new Guns N Roses, their main means of getting news updates were from Kurt Loder and magazines like Hit Parade. Albums were typically spaced out by a year or two anyway, so the wait seemed natural.

Today, Lil' Wayne records new tracks pretty much everyday and they all seem to find their ways onto blogs and Limewire. He puts out a new mixtape every other week. To be entirely honest, he doesn't really NEED to put out TCIII.

Axl Rose lost his relevance sometime ago, and doesn't look to be wanting it back anytime soon. Lil' Wayne is as relevant as it gets. No other rapper alive right now commands as much gravitas and respect from so widespread a fanbase. Yeah, backpackers love Black Thought and Talib Kweli. Dudes that just want to party or hear drug talk can fuck with just about any MC, lyricism be damned, but no other rapper gets them ALL hype. No one but Wayne.

Now, I realize I'm not the first motherfucker to point these things out. I'm definitely not going to be the last. There's just one thing nagging me about the delay of his new album. It's not that I need a new Wayne fix. Fuck, there's easily 3 albums worth of his recently leaked material I've still got to get around to.

It's that his career is kind of on the line with this release.

A few months ago, when he had been trounced in sales by Kanye West and desperately seeking some attention, 50 Cent attempted to start a feud with Lil' Wayne. 50, as an artist, has always asserted himself by starting beef. He always won by virtue of the fact that he sold records. It didn't matter how strong Jadakiss' disses were ("...you ain't a predicate, you'll never be the King of New York, you live in Connecticut..."), because, ultimately, 50 sold 8 million units. ("...yeah, in New York, niggas love them vocals, but that's only in New York, dawg. Yo ass is local...")

Here's where he's got something on Wayne. Yes, Weezy makes money off his mixtapes. Yeah, everyone and their mother thinks he's the best alive. Yes, he actually IS better than 50, but Wayne's never released a REAL album. Yeah, he's got the first 2 Carters, the collab he did with Birdman. But he doesn't have a Get Rich or Die Tryin' or a College Dropout.

He's yet to prove that he can pick his own beats, write a song that kills on radio and put out a 5 Mic worthy album. Now, Da Drought 3 is a 5 Mic album. That's pretty much 'duh,' but DD3 uses beats from proven songs. Half the tracks are just really really good freestyles. They hide under the umbrage of "the mixtape circuit," with lower production quality and less critical scrutiny.

50 Gets on my goddamn nerves, but the man knows how to put out a collection of solid material, even if he did forget with Curtis. I think that Wayne can do this as well, but we won't know for sure until TCIII hits.

Yeah, it's possible that this album might be amazing, but there's so much anticipation behind it that if it is anything less than Reasonable Doubt or Ready To Die then people will write it off. The naysayers will be proven right and it'll be a difficult slump to overcome.

Axl waited so long to put out Chinese Democracy that it doesn't matter if he releases something that is Songs In The Key of Life meets Led Zeppelin IV. The hype and wait overcome the actual content. Context is key.

Wayne needs to release a perfect album. One that showcases every aspect of his greatness. We need a great street anthem (like Gossip). We need a poppy radio hit (like new leaked track Lollipop). We need a song that shows off his sensitive side (like Prostitute Flange). We need that relentlessly boastful Weezy (like the Upgrade Freestyle). We need some Dear-Mama-Tupac shit (like World of Fantasy). We need an album that will stand the test of time and act as a marker to the era where a boy who we used to all ridicule in the back of Hot Boyz videos became the illest, most charismatic and messianic MC since Tupac.

We need Tha Carter III and we need it now.

Here's some varied tracks. A couple are streams.

Lil' Wayne - Did It Before (prod. by Kanye West)
Lil' Wayne - I Know The Future
Lil' Wayne - Something You Forgot
Lil' Wayne - Get Too Comfortable (F. Babyface, Prod. by Kanye West)
Lil' Wayne - Burn This City (franz ferdinand sample)

*BONUS:

Here's a track from Chinese Democracy that doesn't suck too hard.

Guns N' Roses - Better