So, yeah, porn.
The other thing I love is indie music. Right behind nostalgic early 90s grunge tunes but right above synthy 80s new wave. Specifically I love indie girls. Like, all of them. Even weird looking ones like Regina Spektor, because she sounds so, so, cute. She's like a carebear with a recording contract. Quasi-plump, offbeat non-traditionally alluring girls with pianos or guitars haunt my dreams.
Hence the title. Every week or so I'm gonna match up a favorite porn star of mine with an indie singer I'm nerdcrushing on. The victor is irrelevant. In this Thunderdome, everybody wins.
COMBATANT NUMERO UNO. representing the adult film industry...
JULIA BOND
STATS: (all stats approx and probably stolen from wikipedia)
DOB: 2-26-87
HT: 5'0"
WT: 100lbs
MEASUREMENTS: 36C-27-41
ORIENTATION: Bisexual
ASS: for days
You may have seen her on an old episode of The Jerry Springer Show. You may recognize her from the last time you watched Frat House Fuck Fest. You may have been masturbating to video files of her on redtube for months and never known her name. Regardless, Julia Bond is a fuck flick starlet of the highest order. She's fairly new to the industry and not as name-checked, but if you've ever seen her in Big Wet Butts she's pretty hard to forget.
Every porn star is essentially interchangeable. They're all sexed up sluts doing things on camera for money that alot of girls won't admit to doing in real life. What sets them all apart (aside from bust, hair color and ethnicity) is their personality. Remember what I said about Regina Spektor being a care bear? Well, Julia Bond is a care bear who occasionally gets DP'd by two black guys. So, I guess that makes her a Stuffed Bear.
COMBATANT NUMERO DOS, representing the blogosphere...
LYKKE LI
STATS:
totally unknown. Pssst. She's Swedish.
I've been head-over-heels in love with Swedish Indie-pop girl Lykke Li for about two or three months now. At first, all I knew about her was that Bjorn Yttling (of Peter, Bjorn & John, the guys who made you whistle through all of 2007 on commercials and Grey's Anatomy) was her producer and that her lead single, "Little Bit" was infectious in ways I was wholly unprepared for. On rough estimate, the first weekend I discovered the track I listened to it some 2,814 times.
I don't know much about her now, either. I know I can't pronounce her name. I know she doesn't mind, which is nice, because I HATE people with difficult to pronounce names who demand you waste extra effort playing guess-the-phonetics just so they can feel placated. I also know that within about six months she's gonna be super-hot shit and probably a nominee for Best New Artist at the Grammys next year.
I don't quite know what it is about her I like so much. Julia Bond's easy. She's cute , buxom and has a fat ass. That, and I've seen her naked on several occasions. Lykke's different. I've seen her naked, too, although I've never seen her disrobe. Her honey-throated renditions of poppy-soul tunes scratch through my typically jaded exoskeleton and mollify the aches in my soul I had heretofore never deemed worthy of a second thought. To watch her doe-eyed gaze and her rhythmless swivel and want to reach out and play with her never-quite-kempt-in-that-bun hair is as ethereal and gentle as watching Julia Bond deep throat an 11inch cock is visceral and dirty.
I've seen Julia Bond's cooch, but I've seen Lykke Li's heart.
WINNER: Lykke Li. Sort of.
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