Anyone ever walk down the baby aisle at the supermarket, or better yet, watched those pediphile oriented diaper commercials on network television in the afternoons? I've done both and it amazes me that there is such a wealth of individuals willing to sexually exploit their disgustingly photogenic progeny for some quick cash.
Look at those fucking kids. Do you honestly think their parents give a shit how weird that is, so long as a check is involved?
It's interesting to me, because every other media thing involving kids goes the model un route, where there's an asian kid, a black kid, a white kid, a spanish kid, a freedom hating terrorist kid, et fucking cetera. Baby products, all the kids they use are these strange, genetically mutated multiracial babies. They look like what kids look like in bad cyber punk novellas, where the writer imagines a healthy society built on interracial breeding that not only strengthens the gene pool, but irradicates racial prejudice, replacing it with plain old regular prejudice.
Now, I'm biracial, and my mom wasn't exactly growing money in my youth, and I was one sexy fucking baby, but she never threw my aesthetically pleasing ass in front of a camera with some pampers to pay the rent. That's because she was a decent human being. I, on the other hand, fucking love money. Far more than I love babies. So I've devised a plan.
Every girl I meet who has a different racial background than myself, I will offer this proposition. Chicks love babies. Its their little thing. They love babies nearly as much as we love pussy. My plan is to convince a bevy of diverse women to breed with me, then we can go half on some hot biracial babies, and sell them to pampers, or huggies, or whatever baby product brand is willing to give the most cash. In addition to no longer having to sprain my wrist giving handjobs behind Home Depot to pay the bills, I will no longer have to pilfer portions of that same hard earned cash to pay prostitutes for what passes for love in this cold, modern world. I'm not sure just how many women will go for it, but if Girls Gone Wild is still at its twelve hundredth installment, then it wouldn't surprise me if the race mixing baby making movement becomes a multicultural phenomenon.
Don't even worry about STD's. My studies have shown that the superhuman offspring of my ingenius plan may produce antigens in their bloodstreams powerful enough to cure any disease, even that one Rob Thomas had in that shitty Matchbox 20 song.
"You, miss, what are you? Filipino? Ecuadorian? Cool. Cool. Hey, you, uh, you wanna make a baby? No, no rush. I don't want to put you on the spot like that. It's a hard decision. So, take this pamphlet, and if you're interested, call me later. Uh, if an asian woman answers, hang up, because thats a four and not a nine. I know, my handwriting is shitty. But my studies have also shown that bad handwriting isn't genetic so our little Tiger Woods should be alright."
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