8 Movies To See In '08

Yeah, it's almost fucking March, but who cares? There are always an assload of awesome flicks to see, even in slow movie years. The trick is that they're all spaced out in their own special corners of the multiplex calendar. Blockbusters in the summer, Oscar bait in the fall, indie gems on dvd because you can never find them whenever they are in theaters, and random bullshit you shouldn't waste cash on during the in-between seasons.

Here is a mixed bag of cinema goodness coming out this year, with trace amounts of pretension, vitriol, and geek jizz.

8. TAKEN

Remember Commando, with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Of course you do. "Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied." Well, this is like that, only instead of Arnie, we've got wise mentor playing, jew-freeing extraordinaire Liam Neeson and instead of a barely there plot by Jeph Loeb and Steven De Souza, we've got a script by Luc fucking Besson, best known for being french, showing the world Natalie Portman (b-t-dub, thanks Luc) and for churning out cool action movies the way White Castle makes burgers.

Liam Neeson plays a former black ops guy (my favorite stock character occupation, ever) whose daughter (Maggie Grace from Lost) is kidnapped. Mr. Neeson chases down random guys with guns and deals death in a singular minded fashion reminiscent of a David Mamet movie. In short, go fucking see it.



7. REDBELT

Speaking of David Mamet, he's back. Now, if Mamet had made a movie about talking animals trying to save a zoo for Dreamworks, I'd still see it, so the fact that he wrote and directed this new movie is nearly negligible. Its about mixed-martial arts, which I could give a fuck less about, except the movie stars Chiwetel Ejiofor. You may remember him as the awesome Operative in Joss Whedon's Serenity or his fantastic turn in Dirty Pretty Things but more likely you know him as that cool black guy who seems to be following Don Cheadle and Denzel Washington around for the past two years.

He plays a MMA instructor who--you know, what? Just watch the trailer.



Mamet's movies have more twists than a pretzel, and if for whatever reason the presence of Tim Allen makes you uneasy, then check out The Spanish Prisoner where Mamet gives Steve Cheaper By The Dozen Martin room to act. Believe it.

6. SHUTTER ISLAND



I like Dennis Lehane's books, and I like Martin Scorsese's films. Well, more accurately, I read one Lehane book (Mystic River) and own a copy of another (this one in question) and I've seen nearly all of Marty's films multiple times. He's like a surrogate father to me, except we've never met, and if we did, he'd probably have me thrown out of the Tribeca Film Festival.

I'm not super in love with the Scorsese-DiCaprio tandem, but The Departed was fantastic and I'm betting that even if this sucks, it'll be at least watchable. Plus, Michelle Williams and Mark Ruffalo are in it.

5. BURN AFTER READING



This is a no-brainer. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, The Coens. I'm there. You're there. Oscar is waiting.

4. HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY

Guillermo Del Toro is the godfather of my unborn babies, so of course I'm gonna see the sequel that plans to melt my eyes with awesome visuals and blow my mind with theater shaking action and fun one-liners from Ron Perlman's pitch-perfect Hellboy. Plus, Luke Goss, the villain of Blade II and a guy who looks kinda like Tom Cruise in the right light, will be the newly created for the film villain.

Plus, Johann!!! Now if only they can get Lobster Johnson and Roger The Homunculus in on this...



3. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

If you saw Superbad or any other comedy Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen had their hands in, then you don't need me to tell you about this movie. You don't need to know its a stoner-buddy comedy about a man and his dealer who witness a murder and are on the run from unsavory criminals and the munchies. You don't need to watch the totally awesome redband trailer with the uber-hip inclusion of my favorite M.I.A. song. You don't need to put ten dollars in your overpriced piggy bank for this August to enjoy what will basically be the comedy of the year. If you haven't, then you can go suck a bag of dicks.



2. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

I'll admit. I was skeptical. It's been ages. Harrison Ford is old. Shia Lebeuf is moderately cool. The project has been written and re-written by everyone from M. Night Shyamalan to Frank Darabont and Sean Connery apparently isn't coming back. Of course, that was all before I saw the trailer.



Yeah, I'm there. They could call it Indiana Jones and The Colostomy Bag and they'll still get my money. Curse you, Spielberg.


1. THE DARK KNIGHT

Heath Ledger's last performance. Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face. The best young director in the industry with a $200 million budget. This is the way movies are supposed to be.



'Nuff said.